


Bluebell

by NeuroticChick



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Love Triangle, No Apocalypse, Smut, dominant Negan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2019-05-05 11:19:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 37,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14617322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeuroticChick/pseuds/NeuroticChick
Summary: Bell moves back home after a rough breakup to find some things are ready to pick right up from where they left off.** This is split between present day and the not-too-distant past**





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been writing this as a distraction to my other story while I try to think of a way to end it. Let me know what you think, feedback is always appreciated!

‘We need another round!’ Amanda called out, empty glass held high in the air, to the harassed-looking waitress. ‘Three more tequila slammers!’ She adjusted her green silk blouse and swept her blonde hair over her shoulder. 

‘I think we’ve had enough.’ Jen was looking a little worse for wear; she couldn’t remember quite how many rounds they’d had so far. 

‘Suck it up, Jen. We’re here to support B in her time of need.’ She reached over to hug Bell. 

‘If you’re tired…’ Bell turned to Jen.

‘I can handle one more.’ Jen smiled. 

‘Here you go.’ The waitress set down the tequilas and three cocktails.

‘We didn’t order these.’ Jen gestured to the fruity drinks.

‘They paid for them.’ The waitress gestured to a couple of guys at the bar; they looked to be in their fifties. 

‘Thanks!’ Amanda raised her glass before turning her attention back to her friends. ‘Feeling cheered yet, B?’

‘I think it’s going to take more than…’ She mentally counted the drinks they’d had, ‘five… six rounds in this dive bar to get over having to move back here after my boyfriend cheated on me!’ She drank the tequila and quickly followed it up with the cocktail. ‘But it’s a good start.’

‘He’s a jerk, you’re amazing.’ Jen stroked at Bell’s long, dark hair. 

‘Tell him that.’

‘No more talk of men!’ Amanda slapped the table. ‘This is supposed to be girl’s night. It’s been too long; but now you’re back we can do this whenever we want!’ She smiled.

‘I need to pee.’ Bell navigated her way to the bathroom. When she came out of the stall she steadied herself against the sink and took a look at herself in the mirror. Her cheeks were flush from the drink and her red lipstick was all but worn away. She reached into her bag for her make-up and tried to make herself look as presentable as possible; a hard task after that many tequilas, but somehow she just about managed it. She turned to the full length mirror and adjusted her outfit before heading back into the bar. 

‘Hey, sweetheart.’ A gruff voice breathed into her ear; the smell of booze made her gag a little. 

Bell turned as she felt a large hand rest on her hip. She looked down and pushed the hand away. ‘Can I help you?’ She recognised him as one of the men that had sent the drinks over. 

‘Think I can get your friend’s number? She seems like a real firecracker.’

‘I’m sorry, I don’t think she’s interested.’ She smiled and started to walk away. Her policy was to be as polite and cordial as possible, it minimised the risk of being called “ungrateful”, “slut”, or “tease”. 

‘No need to be rude, you little cock-tease.’ He grabbed at her arm.

‘I wasn’t being rude.’ She shrugged his hand off, and ignored his comment. ‘You asked a question and I gave you an answer.’

‘Is there a problem here, ma’am?’ 

Bell sighed as she turned her head, she hadn’t expected for her eyes to be rewarded with the sight of Mr tall-dark-and-handsome, her heart skipped a beat but she managed to compose herself. ‘I think I made my point, right guys?’ She smiled at the older men.

Tall-dark-and-handsome watched as Bell made her way back to her friends. 

‘Apparently,’ she sat back at the table, ‘accepting drinks from gross old men makes you public property.’

‘You want me to sort them out?’ Jen tucked her short hair behind her ears as she made a move to stand up. 

‘You’re in no state to sort anyone out.’ Bell pushed Jen back into her seat. 

‘We need another round!’ Jen called to the waitress. 

‘I thought you’d had enough?’ Amanda laughed.

‘Three more tequilas and three more of those cocktails!’ Jen stroked the waitress’ arm affectionately. ‘I had, but I broke through the glass ceiling.’ She smiled at her friends.

‘Not quite what that means, but okay.’ Bell gave Amanda a look, it was the silent agreement that they would need to get Jen home to bed soon.

‘Here’s to Jason.’ Amanda raised her glass. ‘He just lost the best thing that was ever going to happen to him.’

‘And to B, 170 pounds lighter!’ Jen lifted her almost empty glass. 

‘I’ll drink to that.’ Bell forced a smile. 

‘Is it just me, or is that guy checking you out?’ Jen leaned on Bell’s arm and turned her face towards the bar. 

Bell smiled at the good-looking man who had tried to come to her rescue earlier. ‘I thought we weren’t talking about men?’

‘We can still look.’ Jen stared off into the distance with a vacant smile on her face. ‘He’s coming over.’

‘Of course he’s coming over, you’re staring at him!’ Bell said in a hushed tone. 

‘Ladies.’ His smile made Bell’s heart skip a beat, and she kicked herself for it. The last thing she wanted was to fall for another guy – she couldn’t seem to help herself. 

‘Hi.’ Amanda beamed as she leaned over the table to kiss the stranger’s cheek. ‘Would you like to join us, Officer Walsh?’ Amanda knew everyone.

‘Please, I’m off duty; call me Shane.’ He took a seat. ‘So long as I’m not interrupting girls’ night?’

‘Not at all.’ Jen straightened herself up. 

Bell looked between her two friends in disbelief. They’re all up for a girls’ night until an attractive man shows some interest – fickle creatures. 

‘This drunken mess is Jen and the dark cloud over there is Bell. Are you here by yourself?’ 

‘I’m with some friends.’ He gestured to another table at the other end of the bar. ‘Just thought I’d come over and say hi.’

‘Well, it is lovely to have some male company.’ Amanda fluttered her eyelashes – she had done a few pageants in her time, and she could turn on the “southern belle” thing easily. It worked for her, something to do with all of that blonde hair. ‘We are here cheering up Bell. She’s feeling a little blue.’

Jen couldn’t help but snort out a loud laugh. ‘That’s funny!’ She looked between her friends for confirmation. 

‘Don’t start.’ Bell flagged down the waitress and ordered another round of drinks. 

‘Bell’s feeling blue,’ Jen sniggered to herself, ‘It’s funny ‘cos – Bluebell.’

By now Shane was looking extremely confused and Bell couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. ‘That’s my name, Bluebell.’ She shrugged. ‘My mom was a hippy, I just go by Bell. Usually.’ She glared at her friend.

‘Pretty name.’ That smile was going to make her do things she would regret. 

‘Hey, Mandy made the joke. It was all there, I had to.’ Jen stood up to go to the bathroom. 

‘We’re going to need to get her home soon.’ Bell kept an eye on her friend until she made it through the bathroom door. She listened to the familiar sunny tones of Amanda’s voice as she reeled off how everyone in her extended family was doing; and to Shane’s short answers about his own. The words weren’t registering in her brain, she was too busy chastising herself for imagining him without his shirt on. 

‘I think I need to go home.’ Jen slumped back into her chair. 

‘Do you want me to call a cab?’ Bell started searching in her handbag for her phone. 

‘I’ll call the cab.’ Amanda whipped out her phone. ‘There’s no use in both of us cutting our night short. I’ll get Jen home in one piece, you stay and have another drink. I’m sure Shane would be happy to keep you company.’ The blonde discretely winked, although Bell wasn’t sure which one of them she aimed it at. ‘And you’ll make sure she gets home safe. Won’t you, Shane?’

‘Yes, ma’am.’ He smiled. 

**

After the hustle and bustle of Amanda successfully getting Jen into a cab, Bell and Shane were alone. The awkward silence lasted a few seconds; Bell was about to break it, but Shane beat her to it. 

‘Mandy tells me you lived in DC.’

‘I did.’ Bell nodded as she sipped her drink. ‘My boyfriend was a lobbyist. And a cheater. Well, I guess he is still a lobbyist and a cheater. My job didn’t pay enough for me to get an apartment of my own. And so here I am at 23, back with my dad and the step-monster.’ She managed to stop herself from running on any further. 

He didn’t even respond, instead he seemed to just laugh to himself. 

‘I’m not very good at this.’

‘At what?’

‘Having a normal conversation, apparently.’ She gave a wry smile. ‘How do you know Amanda?’ She had decided this would be her final attempt at a conversation starter. If this resulted in another awkward silence, she was leaving. 

‘I dated her sister for a while.’

‘Alexa?’ 

‘No, Abbie.’

Shit, she had hoped it wasn’t Abbie. She was tall, blonde, slim – yet curvy – and she had a nice rack; pretty much what most men would think of when asked to describe their perfect woman. Bell didn’t usually like to reduce other women to a list of adjectives, but in that moment she couldn’t help herself – the self-deprecation had set in. ‘Abbie’s a sweetheart.’ She just about managed to sound normal, and not at all like a bitter bitch. Abbie was indeed a sweetheart. 

‘How about you?’

‘We went to school together.’ Bell smiled, remembering the simpler days. ‘She never let us grow apart, even when I moved over the other side of the country for college. Although, I think she just wanted an excuse to visit LA.’

The conversation managed to carry itself for a few more minutes. Bell enjoyed having the attention of someone new; she had felt worthless since discovering her boyfriend’s infidelities. 

‘I should go.’ Bell checked the time, it was way past her bedtime for a Sunday. Especially with her starting her new job in the morning. ‘It was nice to meet you.’

‘How are you getting home?’ 

‘I’ll walk.’ She picked up her handbag and made sure she had all of her possessions. ‘It’s only a couple of blocks.’

‘I’m not letting you walk home by yourself.’ Shane followed her out onto the street and put his jacket over her shoulders. ‘I promised Mandy I’d get you home.’

‘I suppose I’ll be safe with you, officer.’ She sniggered and bumped into him slightly, prompting him to put an arm around her shoulder. Bell felt a pang of nostalgia; she hadn’t felt wanted in so long. She and Jason had been growing apart for a while, she just hadn’t wanted to see it. She didn’t see it until she saw another woman’s legs wrapped around his waist. She shook the image out of her thoughts. 

The cool air and short walk had a slightly sobering effect on Bell. She knew she’d had quite a bit to drink, but her head felt clearer the closer she got to home. Eventually she stopped outside of a large colonial-style home. 

‘Do you want to come in for a coffee?’

Shane looked at the house, which was so obviously not the home of a single twenty-something. ‘Won’t we wake your parents?’

‘I’m in the guest house out the back.’ She started walking down the path to the side entrance of the house. ‘You don’t have to, but who knows what might happen to me on the short walk between here and the pool house? My neighbour’s cat might claw at my ankles…’ She almost cockled over, but managed to straighten herself up. 

Shane shook his head and followed her down the path, through the gate and to the miniature house in the back garden. It was larger than he had expected; she had her own sitting room, kitchenette and bedroom. 

‘Home sweet home.’ Bell threw her handbag onto the counter and flicked on the coffee maker. She tapped her fingers lightly against the counter as she decided whether or not to make a move. She reached past him for a couple of mugs from the counter and brushed her hand against his arm. 

Their eyes met as she looked up; Bell raised herself up onto the balls of her feet and kissed him lightly. When he didn’t reciprocate she pulled away quickly and apologised. 

‘I’m so sorry. You’ve been such a gentleman, walking me home, and I just go and attack you. Apparently I’m really bad at reading signals, too.’ She covered the shame on her face with her hand. ‘I’m such an idiot…’

Shane moved her hand away from her face, cupped her chin and kissed her gently. ‘You’re beautiful, but I am a gentleman. So I’m going to leave.’ He smiled at her. 

Bell watched as he left. She leaned against the counter for support and touched her lips, the feeling of the kiss lingering in her thoughts. She flicked the coffee maker to “off” and put herself to bed. Why had it seemed like a good idea to get drinks with the girls on a Sunday night?

**

Bell was ripped back into consciousness by the blaring alarm next to her bed. Her eyes snapped open and for a moment she forgot where she was. She groaned, first at the memory of having moved back in with her dad, then at the hangover and finally at the prospect of starting a new job in this state. Somehow she motivated herself out of bed and into the shower; there was no way she could turn up to a new job stinking of booze.

She was pleased that she had picked out an outfit the day before, before the bar happened, otherwise she would have ended up going in her sweatpants. Bell slipped on the black pencil skirt, tucked in her white silk blouse and headed downstairs. She grabbed her car keys and flew out of the house; she was determined to be on time for her first day. 

She pulled into the staff car park and looked up at the building. ‘Like I never left,’ she sighed as she got out of the car. Bell could have made her way to the school office with her eyes closed; she couldn’t believe that, despite her best efforts, she had ended up right where she started. 

‘It’s my first day.’ She smiled at the receptionist. 

‘Bluebell Merriweather?’ The older lady looked down her glasses. 

Bell quickly checked that no one was too close to hear her full name, it always embarrassed her. ‘Bell is fine.’ She smiled. 

‘I’m Mrs Cleveland, I’ll be showing you the ropes.’ Not even the hint of a smile. ‘Follow me.’

**

Bell’s morning was boring as hell; she’d been shown how to use the copier, how to file and how to use the switch board – she could have self-taught herself in half the time it took Mrs Cleveland to show her; but Bell knew that it was always a good idea to keep the senior staff on-side. Her job description was simple: calls, filing, copying and basically whatever the teachers needed in between. 

She heard the last bell ring as she wrestled with a paper jam in the copier. She knew that Mrs C left at 3pm, so she would have to figure this out for herself. She had until the end of her working day at 5pm and was not about to be defeated by a piece of office equipment. 

Kneeling on the floor, Bell reached in, she could almost feel the rogue piece of paper starting to come loose. ‘Come on, you fucker.’ 

‘Words like that shouldn’t come out of such a pretty little thing.’ A man whistled from behind Bell. 

She jumped at the sound of the deep voice and bashed her head on the machinery. Quickly, Bell rose to her feet and straightened her skirt. She held up the piece of paper like a trophy, ‘paper jam!’

‘No shit.’ He laughed and stroked his beard. 

Bell could feel butterflies in her stomach and felt like a schoolgirl all over again. She didn’t like it one bit. She hadn’t expected to see him, it hadn’t crossed her mind that he would still be here – but of course he would. Where else would he be? 

‘Shit, Bluebell Merriweather. Is that you? All grown up.’ He stroked his chin and looked her up and down. 

‘Coach Negan.’ She nodded and turned back to her copy job. 

‘Didn’t you used to call me “sir”?’

Bell’s mouth went dry and she kept her back to him. She could feel his gaze all over her body; there was a part of her that wanted him to stop, and there was a big part of her that wanted him to rip her clothes off. 

‘Or was it “master”? It’s been so long, I forget.’

Bell took a deep breath and tried to ignore him, and her baser urges. ‘It’s good to see you, sir.’

He laughed and she could feel him getting closer to her. He placed a hand on her hip and swept her hair away from her shoulder. ‘You always did like to tease me; I thought I’d trained that out of you.’ 

Bell closed her eyes and let her head rest back onto Negan. ‘Can I help you with something?’

He pulled her hips back towards his large frame. ‘Maybe you could.’

Bell swallowed and shook herself back to reality. She took her papers from the machine and slinked out of his grasp. ‘If you need any administrative help, let me know.’ Bell made herself walk out of the copy room and away from the situation, before she did something she seriously regretted.


	2. Chapter 2

**Five Years Previous**

Senior year was almost over, Bell had about two weeks until graduation and she couldn’t wait for high school to be over. One more summer and then she would be out of this small town and off to college. 

‘We need to make the most of this summer!’ Amanda leaned back on her elbows, enjoying a sunny lunch break on the field. ‘I have a whole itinerary planned.’ She started listing all of the things she wanted the three of them to do. 

‘You know I can’t.’ Jen sulked. ‘My parents are forcing me down to Florida to help my grandma.’

‘Tell your parents no, this is our time!’

‘I wish I could.’

‘Just you and me then, Bell.’ 

‘Can’t wait.’ Bell smiled at her friend. Amanda might be a little controlling and “Type A” at times, but she was looking forward to spending the summer with her. The fun always seemed to find Amanda. 

‘At least tell me you’re still coming to my parent’s barbecue this Saturday.’ Amanda looked between her two friends.

‘Of course.’ Jen chirruped. 

Bell grimaced. ‘I can’t make it.’

‘You two are going to be the end of me! We have limited time left together, ladies. What’s so important that you can’t make it over on Saturday?’

‘Babysitting.’ Bell picked at the grass. 

‘For Coach Negan?’ Amanda rolled her eyes. ‘You wouldn’t cancel that even if you could.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘You know what it means.’

‘I don’t like to shirk my responsibilities.’ Bell stole a look over to the football field. ‘Besides, I need the money.’

‘You’re a Merriweather, your dad owns half of the town – you do not need the money.’ Jen rolled her eyes. 

‘I’m being taught “the value of money”. My allowance has been cut. I need the money.’

‘Whose smart idea was that?’ Amanda almost looked disgusted.

‘Well, it wasn’t my dad’s.’

‘Step-monster.’ Amanda and Jen said in unison. 

**

Bell made it over to the coach’s house for 6pm; he and his wife were heading out for a movie and then dinner. The baby, two-year-old Lucy, was already sleeping upstairs when she arrived. Bell put her handbag on one of the kitchen stools as Negan and his wife rushed around making sure they hadn’t forgotten anything. She smoothed down her skirt, she always wore something a little shorter than what was appropriate when she knew she was seeing him – even it was only for a few minutes at the start and end of the evening. 

‘As usual, help yourself to whatever you want.’ Lucille painted her full lips with a dark red lipstick. ‘We’ll be back around 11.’

‘Have a good night.’ Bell arranged her homework on the kitchen counter.

‘Thank you so much for doing this for us, I know there must be a million things you’d rather be doing.’ Lucille touched her arm in a motherly way. ‘I remember what the last few weeks of senior year are like, I bet you’re missing out on at least two parties tonight.’

‘It’s no problem at all; I have school work to catch up on anyway.’ She gestured to her books

Negan barely ever said a word to her when she babysat for them. She was lucky if she got a “hi” or “bye”. She didn’t know whether it was weird for him to have student in his house, or that Lucille just wouldn’t let him get a word in. Despite Bell’s best efforts, short skirt and a low cut top, he never paid her any attention. 

Bell grabbed herself a can of soda, set the baby monitor down on the counter and worked on her homework. She had already been accepted into college with an unconditional offer, but she couldn’t bear to skip her homework. It didn’t take her long to work through the simple tasks and she soon moved onto her current novel. 

Before she knew it, it was 9pm. The baby hadn’t made a sound and Bell was a good way through her reading. She almost jumped out of her skin when she heard the front door unlock. In walked Negan, sans Lucille. 

‘You’re early.’ Bell looked up at the clock to make sure she had the time right. 

‘She got paged.’ He opened the fridge, not even taking the time to look at Bell. She could tell he was annoyed. 

‘Downside to being married to a doctor, I guess.’ 

‘I’m married to her and she’s married to her job.’ Negan opened a beer and tossed the cap onto the counter. His eyes trailed up her toned legs, slender waist and modest chest. Bell told herself she had imagined it, he never looked at her and the moment he did her imagination had obviously run rampant. 

‘Do you mind if I stay a little longer and finish this chapter?’ She held up her book. 

‘You don’t want to go home?’

‘I don’t want to lose my flow.’ She lied. Bell had been looking forward to getting home when her dad and step-mom were already in bed, neither of them liked her choice of college and she couldn’t face the nagging right now. 

‘Stay as long as you like.’ Negan leaned against the counter and watched her long hair flop down over her shoulder as her eyes fixed back on her books. 

Bell pretended to read, she couldn’t concentrate with him standing right there; the words just wouldn’t go in. She tried for a few more minutes before placing her bookmark between the pages of her novel and walked around to the sink for a glass of water. Her hand accidentally brushed against the side of his leg and she quickly snapped it away, embarrassed at the contact. He just looked down and smiled at her; she was worried that he knew about all of the fantasies she’d played out in her head and how she longed for him to have his way with her. 

‘You looking forward to college?’ 

‘I am.’ Bell leaned against the counter next to him.

‘What are you studying?’ 

Bell had never had small talk with him before and she could feel herself blush; she told herself to get a grip. ‘Women’s studies.’

He raised an eyebrow and smirked. ‘Are you some kind of feminist?’

‘If you mean, do I believe in gender equality – then yes. Don’t you?’ She smiled. 

Negan looked her up and down one more time, she could tell he had formulated a response in his head but was keeping it to himself. 

**

The next time Bell saw Coach Negan was during her last ever PE class. He had the girls do laps on the track, possibly the laziest activity he could have given them as a teacher. He sat on the bleachers watching, making sure none of the girls stopped all together just to gossip – as was common during PE. 

Bell never mentioned her childish crush to her friends, but somehow they knew about it anyway. They often caught her staring, and she’d blush a little when his name was mentioned. Bell prided herself on her aloofness; boys never got to her and for this reason she was never short on male suiters. But her aloofness didn’t extend so far as Negan, he was a man and therefore a mystery to her. She had a different sort of feeling for him, one that she had never had for a boy her own age. And even though she thought she had noticed him look at her in a way other than the way a teacher looks at his pupil, she knew that he couldn’t possibly have the same feelings for her. She was just an inexperienced child after all. 

‘Are you going to miss him?’ Jen teased, her glance briefly fixed in the direction of the coach.

‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’ Bell continued running.

‘You should go for it. After graduation.’ Bell couldn’t believe Amanda sounded so serious. 

‘He’s married!’ She stopped in her tracks, almost causing a teenage-girl-pile-up on the track. She stepped to one side to let the group of girls behind them pass with more ease. 

‘A-ha!’ Jen gleamed. ‘So you do know what we’re talking about.’

‘I…’ Bell blushed. ‘I just know what assumptions you’ve made!’ She looked between her two smiling friends. 

‘Keep it moving, ladies.’ The coach called from his seat. 

The girls started up again, but much slower than they had been before. 

‘Can one of you remind me why we’re friends?’

‘Because we know too much.’ Amanda smiled. 

A few more laps and the class made their way to the locker room. Bell pulled her sundress over her head after her shower and reapplied the little scraps of make-up she wore to school. She was deep in thought about Negan, maybe she would “go for it” after graduation; she shook away the thought. Even if he was interested, could she really do that to someone’s wife?

‘Eep!’ Amanda shrieked into the screen of her phone. ‘I can’t believe it!’

‘What is it?’ Bell closed her locker door and joined Jen at Amanda’s side. 

‘I got it!’ Amanda did her victory dance and paused to look at the blank faces in front of her. ‘The internship. I got it!’

‘That’s amazing.’ Jen Beamed. 

‘The one in New York?’ 

‘Yeah.’ Amanda lowered her phone and her smile. ‘Bell, I’m sorry…’

‘Don’t be sorry.’ She shook her head. ‘I’m really pleased for you.’ She was pleased for her, and she would never expect her to give up the opportunity. She just didn’t know what she was going to do with herself all summer now that both of her friends would be out of state. 

‘You’ll have to come and stay with me.’ Amanda couldn’t help but let her broad smile shine again. 

**

Graduation day came around quickly, and before she knew it Bell was attending the barbecue at Jen’s parents’ house along with most of her class and a selection of teachers. It was a hot day and most of the graduates had changed into their bathing suits to take full advantage of the large pool.

Bell was still fully clothed and caught in conversation with her step mother, the very last place on earth she wanted to be. She could think of a few fascist regimes that would be more pleasant. 

‘It’s all change from here.’ The bottle-blonde smiled at Bell. ‘You’re an adult now, honey.’ It always irked her 

‘I know.’ Bell nodded absentmindedly as she planned her escape. She looked over at her friends, giggling at the poolside. 

‘You need to work hard at college, your father and I won’t always be around to support you.’

‘I know, you’ve got Trinity to think of.’ Bell didn’t resent her little sister (half-sister), she resented that she came second place where her father was concerned and she would be lying if she said she didn’t blame Tiffany, her step mother, for that. Bill Merriweather needed to keep wife number two happy; he didn’t want to bring the disgrace of another divorce onto the good family name. 

Tiffany smiled, her teeth resembling that of a shark getting ready to devour a defenceless sea creature. Bell took advantage of the moment’s silence and slipped away to her friends. 

‘You joining us?’ Amanda looked up at Bell. 

‘Yeah.’ She looked around at her classmates, and felt a pang of nostalgia. They’d never all be as care free as today. ‘Can I use your room?’

‘Of course.’ Jen said. 

Bell made her way upstairs and followed the familiar route to her childhood friend’s bedroom. She closed the door behind her and changed out of her dress and into her plain black bikini. As Bell made her way out of Jen’s bedroom she bumped into a tall figure, presumably making his way to one of the bathrooms. 

She took a step back and looked up; her cheeks reddened as she realised it was Negan. ‘Sorry, coach.’ She stuttered, feeling extremely self-conscious and nude in her state of undress. 

She expected him to say something back, but he just stared at her for a moment. ‘You’ve graduated now, Bluebell; you can just call me Negan.’ It was almost like he’d realised something in that moment. 

Bell smiled. ‘Sorry, Negan.’ She put emphasis on his name and felt butterflies in her stomach. 

They stood there for a good 30 seconds, just smiling at each other. And that’s when it happened. Negan stroked Bell’s hair over her shoulder and rested his hand on her upper arm. ‘You have turned into a very beautiful woman.’

She didn’t know how to respond, so she just maintained eye contact. His hand moved to the back of her head and he bent down to kiss her. Bell reciprocated and, as he slid a hand around her back to pull her closer, she put her arm around his neck. She stepped back towards Jen’s bedroom and enticed him with her. Negan was quick to close the door behind them. The kiss seemed to stop time. Bell’s skin felt electric at his touch and she didn’t want him to stop. 

‘I have wanted to do that for so long.’ He said as he pulled away from the kiss. 

‘Me too.’ Bell didn’t know what else to say. She had never expected her fantasies to become a reality. She felt like a child and a woman all in one in that moment. 

He smiled, composed himself and left the room without uttering a further word. Bell stood alone in Jen’s bedroom, completely dumbfounded. She sat on the bed and raised her fingers to her lips. Once she’d relived the moment in her head a hundred times she managed to force herself back down to earth and re-joined the party. 

She felt as though she was caught between two worlds. She tried to have a normal conversation with her classmates and her friends. She made promises to stay in touch with people she’d barely even made conversation with before and scolded herself for not getting to know the rest of her class better. 

All the while she remained aware of Negan’s presence. She could feel his eyes on her and it excited her. Bell desperately wanted to spirit him away somewhere private, but she couldn’t muster the courage. Instead she settled for stolen glances and the memory of his touch. 

**

Bell waited at the door for Negan or Lucille to answer. She hadn’t seen him since the incident and she was worried that her face would betray her the moment she saw him. It was Negan who answered the door, Lucille didn’t appear to be anywhere in sight. 

‘Lucy’s already down.’ He walked through to the kitchen. ‘I should be back a little after 10.’

Bell stood awkwardly on the spot and listened out for the familiar clacking of Lucille’s high heels. It never came. ‘Are you meeting Lucille out?’

‘She’s working tonight, won’t be back until morning.’ He barely looked at Bell as he picked up his wallet and keys. ‘I’m out with a friend tonight.’

Bell wondered what kind of friend he was meeting while his wife was busy at work. She would never have wondered before, but since the incident she couldn’t help but think that he was used to kissing women who weren’t his wife. It wasn’t empathy she was feeling for his wife, it was jealousy for herself. 

‘What are you going to busy yourself with now that you’ve got no homework to do?’ His eyes smiled. 

Bell laughed, he had a point. For the year that she had been babysitting she always had homework to do and always spent the entire night in the kitchen. ‘I guess I’ll catch up on some TV. I’ve gotten used to entertaining myself since my friends abandoned me.’ She half-joked. 

Negan stole a glance at her long legs before he started making his way out of the house. ‘I’ll see you later. Call me if you need anything.’

Bell waved him off, she had never needed to interrupt his evening since she’d been looking after Lucy. She was the quietest baby Bell had ever known – if she hadn’t actually seen the child herself several times she would think she didn’t exist. As soon as Negan was out of the door Bell settled on the sofa in the lounge. She had the TV at a quiet volume and soon became bored with the mind-numbing choices as she flicked through the channels. 

She checked her phone, Amanda was having the best time at her internship in New York and Jen had posted numerous beach selfies. She discarded the phone on the coffee table in front of her. 

She had settled on a movie about a serial killer. The film was about 15 minutes away from ending when she heard the front door being unlocked. Bell checked the time, he was early again. She wondered whether he was going to make another move on her, or whether he regretted the impulsive decision – she had guessed that it had been impulsive, but she realised that she didn’t really know him that well and he could have been planning it for a while. It was obvious to everyone that she had a crush, apparently. 

Negan entered the room quietly and sat next to Bell on the sofa. She’d had her legs crossed, Indian style, and she suddenly felt extremely self-conscious about her bare legs in full view, even though her skirt was covering her modesty well enough. Bell didn’t want to seem awkward, so she remained sat as she had been. Her frame was rigid and tense and she kept her eyes fixed firmly on the television. The longer he sat there next to her, the more relaxed she became. Her focus hadn’t been on the film since he’d entered the house; her brain was working through the scenarios that could lead to him touching her again, kissing her again. She let her hand fall off of her thigh and lightly brush against Negan’s leg. She looked out of the side of her eye – no reaction, he hadn’t noticed her subtle move. 

Instead she decided to shift her seating position so that her knees were together and pointing towards him. She rested her head on her hand close to where he sat. He glanced over to her and smiled, but no more than that. 

Bell argued with herself internally. Why couldn’t she just lean over and kiss him? He had kissed her without warning a few days ago. Could he do that because he was a man? Was she not allowed? She started using feminism as a reason to lean over and kiss the older man, the older man who used to be her teacher, the older man who used to be her teacher and was happily (or possibly unhappily) married. 

She felt her cheeks flush as she placed a hand on the side of his face and pulled him in for a kiss. His lips responded, but he hadn’t moved his hands over her body as she had expected – like he had before. Bell pressed her body closer to his as she swung a leg over his lap to straddle him on the sofa. Finally his hands reached for her; he rested them on her hips and pulled her closer. 

Bell pulled back and saw a wicked look in his eyes. All she could think to do was to apologise for her forwardness. ‘I don’t know what came over me.’ She went to move off of his lap, but his hands held her firmly in place. 

‘What are you apologising for?’ He searched her face and seemed to be pleased with embarrassment written all over it. ‘I’m enjoying your thighs spread across my lap, aren’t you?’

Bell couldn’t help but blush, she wanted to say yes but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She wanted to kiss him again, she wanted him to pull her even closer. Most of all she wanted to see the growing erection in his pants that she had felt the moment she had straddled him. She went in to kiss him again, but he pushed her back. 

‘I asked you a question, young lady.’

Bell blushed, she hadn’t expected to be “young lady-ed” by him. ‘I’m sorry.’ She stuttered. ‘Yes.’

‘Yes what?’ His stare held her in place. 

Bell’s mind raced and she could feel the redness making its way up to her cheeks again. ‘I’m enjoying having you between my thighs.’

‘Good girl.’ His fingers laced through her hair as he pulled her closer for another kiss. He stroked his free hand up her thigh and pressed a finger at her panties. ‘You’re soaked.’ He breathed into her ear. ‘Tell me why.’

Bell let a soft moan escape her lips as she tried to grind her hips down on his hand. 

He tugged at her hair. ‘I asked you a question, young lady.’

‘You.’ 

He loosened his grip on her tresses. 

‘Please.’ She was desperate for him to touch her more. No matter how she moved her hips, she couldn’t quite get his fingers where she needed them.

He pulled her panties to one side and stroked his finger across her slit. Bell gripped onto his arms and tensed her thighs, enjoying the pleasure that waved over him each time he grazed her clit. ‘Are you enjoying that?’

‘Yes.’ Her voice was shaky and uneven. 

‘I have some rules.’ He continued with his gentle, measured strokes. 

Bell was not in the mind set to take in what he was saying, but she didn’t want him to stop. ‘Okay.’

‘This is our secret, you’re not allowed to tell anyone about anything we’ve done.’

‘Okay.’ She had expected that was the case anyway. 

‘I won’t be leaving my wife for you, don’t expect me to and don’t ask me to.’

‘Okay.’ Bell’s voice croaked; he had now slipped two fingers inside and was working at her clit with his thumb. 

‘We meet when I want to, not when you want to.’

At this point she would have agreed to anything. ‘Yes.’

‘You’re not to screw anyone but me.’ He thrust his fingers into her a little harder. ‘You’re mine now, and this belongs to me.’

‘Yes, sir.’ She bit her lip. 

‘Repeat the rules to me.’ His voice remained calm and even. 

‘I won’t tell anyone about us.’ She focussed as much as she could. ‘I won’t ask you to leave your wife.’

‘Good girl.’ His pace picked up. ‘What else?’

‘I’ll be where you want me when you want me. I won’t see anyone else. I’m your property.’ Bell felt herself start to tighten around his fingers and she held onto his arms even tighter as she felt the release of her orgasm. She placed her head into his shoulder to muffle the sound and her thighs shook uncontrollably as the pleasure waved through her. 

‘Are you still a feminist, Bluebell?’ He stroked her hair away from her face and smiled down at the broken girl slumped limply against his chest.


	3. Chapter 3

Bell had just about finished her first week at work without any further encounters with her former lover, although she wasn’t sure that was the correct description of their relationship. Former relationship – she had to keep reminding herself. She looked up at the clock – 4pm, just one more hour to go. 

Mrs C had left her a pile of old files to archive and Bell had been slowly boxing them up for the last couple of hours. The archive room was quiet, musty and, best of all, out of the way of the students. She was pretty sure she never liked teenagers even when she was one. 

‘We have got to stop meeting like this.’

Bell looked up from her spot on the floor, he looked even bigger from where she was sat and his large frame took up most of the doorway. She instinctively pulled the hem of her skirt down to cover as much of her thighs as possible.

‘No need to cover up on my account, I’ve seen it all before.’

‘Do you need a file?’ Bell tried to focus her attention on the boxes, but couldn’t help a slight smile from forming on her lips. 

‘Do you think I need a fucking file?’ He walked further into the room and looked down at Bell. 

She was slightly taken aback by his tone and, instead of answering him, silently shook her head. 

‘Stand up, Bluebell. Let me get a good look at you.’

She didn’t know why, but she complied. His eyes roamed over her body and she self-consciously rearranged her blouse and skirt. He stepped closer and swept her hair out of her face and trailed his hand down her bare arm.

‘Just as beautiful as I remember.’

Bell felt her body lean closer to his. She expected, and wanted, him to pull her close for a kiss. The anticipation made her cheeks flush and the only sounds she could hear were the two of them breathing. 

‘Did you miss me, Bluebell?’ His eyes were almost playful as he let his hand rest on her lower back. 

She knew there was only one satisfactory answer, and in all honesty there was only one true answer. It had been years since they had their “relationship” and she had spent a lot of time telling herself that she would never give herself over to someone so completely ever again. It had been a one-time thing; she had been young and stupid. Surely she knew better now?

‘You know I don’t like to repeat myself.’

‘Yes.’ The word was almost inaudible. ‘I missed you.’ She chastised herself for letting the words come out so easily, and for meaning them. 

‘Have you been a good girl all this time?’

‘Yes.’ She nodded.

‘I find that very hard to believe.’ 

Bell opened her mouth to protest, but Negan placed his thumb over her lips before she could make a sound. 

‘It’s okay; you haven’t been mine for a very long time.’

Bell leaned closer still; her lips were begging to be kissed. She wanted him to pull at her hair, lift her skirt, take her roughly, and use her for his pleasure. 

‘If you want to be mine again, I have just one request.’ 

Bell’s eyes looked up at him hopefully, despite her best efforts. He smiled, it was the knowing smile of someone that was aware they were in control – he knew he’d won. 

‘First, lift your skirt.’

Bell took a step back and searched his face. She wasn’t sure whether he was serious until the look of impatience started to grow on his face. She lifted the hem of her pencil skirt up to just below her underwear. 

‘Really, tights?’ He laughed. ‘Monday; stockings.’ He looked her over one last time before leaving the room. 

Bell smoothed her skirt back down and went back to her files. ‘Fuck.’

**

Saturday morning had been spent shopping. Bell told herself that the new work-clothes weren’t for him. The new lingerie wasn’t for him. And the new stockings certainly weren’t for him. In fact, she hadn’t thought about him all day. She definitely wasn’t thinking about him as she sipped her coffee in the park. She was enjoying the fresh air, the sun on her face and the bird song in the trees. 

‘Hi, Bell.’

She looked up to see Shane.

‘I was over there, and I saw you sitting here by yourself. I thought I’d come over and say “hi”, which I’ve now said.’ He stroked his hand through his hair. 

‘Hi.’ She smiled. 

‘Mind if I join you?’ He sat down on the bench next to her when she didn’t object. 

‘I’m sorry about the other night.’ Bell grimaced. ‘You were such a gentleman, walking me home, I shouldn’t have assumed that you’d want to…’

‘Oh, I wanted to.’ He smiled. ‘I just don’t take advantage of intoxicated women.’

‘Good to know.’ She laughed. 

‘I didn’t just want to say “hi”.’ He paused and tried to read her features. ‘Can I take you out to dinner?’

Bell’s first instinct was to say yes, but then that person who she hadn’t been thinking about earlier popped back into her head. And the rules. 

‘You don’t have to say yes just because I’m a cop.’

‘I want to, but I just started seeing someone.’ She couldn’t tell him the full truth, so she settled on a lie that he’d be able to swallow. 

‘Since Sunday?’ 

‘We’ve, um, reconnected.’ 

‘I guess I should’ve asked you sooner.’ He stood up to leave. ‘Let me know if it doesn’t work out.’

Bell smiled as she watched him walk away. She told herself that things might not go ahead with Negan on Monday; after all she hadn’t fully made up her mind. The bags on the floor next to her were by no means proof of a mind made up. Right?

**

Sunday night was family dinner night. Bell had managed to get out of it the week before, but there was no way of her making a lucky escape two weeks in a row. She sat at the table across from her little sister, Trinity, who hadn’t stopped talking about cheerleading for the last 15 minutes. 

‘… and I got to be at the top of the pyramid.’ The 14-year-old beamed. 

‘That’s wonderful, sweetie.’ Tiffany grinned. ‘How’s your week been, Bell?’

‘Okay.’ She shrugged. 

‘I think you can do better than that.’ Tiffany looked over to her husband for support, but he was a man of few words. He did, however, give Bell a look. 

She rolled her eyes. ‘Well, administrative work is thrilling.’ The words dripped with sarcasm. 

‘If you’d tried harder at college, maybe you’d be able to get a better job.’ Tiffany went back to cutting her meat.

‘I got a first; I don’t think you can do better than that.’ Bell knew better than to expect her father to back her up, but she lived in hope anyway. 

‘Well, maybe women’s studies wasn’t the smartest choice of degree.’ Tiffany shrugged. 

Bell tried to keep her mouth shut; she didn’t want to make this experience even more unpleasant than it already was. ‘What’s your first class degree in, Tiff?’ 

‘Don’t take that tone with your mother.’ Her father looked up from his deep-thought for the first time. 

‘She’s not my mother.’ Bell saw the look of irritation in her father’s eyes. ‘Sorry.’ Her apology was directed more towards him than her. 

‘It’s okay, I’d be frustrated too if I were doing a job so beneath me.’

Bell wondered whether Tiffany had ever had a job before, she stopped just short of asking and told herself she only had 40 more minute of dinner to get through and then a whole week of peace. 

**

Monday morning and Bell had been up since 5am. She’d had butterflies in her stomach and she still hadn’t made up her mind about what to do. She looked in her full length mirror at her matching underwear, black lace, and her black hold-up stockings – she couldn’t bear the discomfort of a garter belt. ‘This isn’t necessarily for him.’ She scrunched at the loose waves in her hair, she had never taken the time to do anything but wash and dry her hair for work before. She’d also taken more time with her make-up and had carefully laid out her outfit the night before. ‘It’s for you.’ She lied. 

Before she knew it, it was time to leave. She smoothed down the black and white shirt dress. The hem came to her mid-thigh, which was conservative enough for work, and the neckline didn’t show too much. She checked one last time that the tops of the stockings couldn’t be seen as she walked and then left the house. 

The first half of the day passed slowly and Bell was a little disappointed that she hadn’t so much as seen Negan yet. She wondered whether he’d forgotten about her. He’d always made it clear to her that she wasn’t important to him, just a plaything. 

Bell worked through her lunch break, she was too nervous to eat. She hated that he had this effect on her, that he still had this hold over her. She was mid-way through an internal monologue when Mrs C snapped her out of it by pretending to clear her throat. 

‘Coach Negan needs someone to take dictation.’

Bell looked up at the woman blankly. 

‘Now, Miss Merriweather.’ Mrs C looked at her watch. 

‘Okay.’ Bell fumbled around her desk for a moment. 

‘You just need your fingers, dear.’ She laughed as she walked away from Bell’s desk. 

Bell quickly made her way down to Negan’s office, she’d never been there as a student. She stood outside the door and checked her make-up in her compact before knocking on the door. She walked in at his command and felt like a prize winning poodle on show. 

‘Miss Merriweather.’ He had his feet up on his desk and was undressing her with his eyes. ‘Please, close the door.’

She did as he said and then stepped closer to the desk. ‘Did you want me to…’ She gestured towards his computer. 

‘Show me.’ His eyes went to her legs. 

Bell lifted the skirt of her dress slightly so he could see the stockings, but not enough (she told herself) to mean that she was agreeing to his terms again. 

Negan rose from his desk and walked around to Bell. ‘Shall we get started?’ He smiled at the expression on her face. ‘With the dictation?’

‘Of course.’ Flustered, she rushed to sit at his desk and opened the letter template. 

It was difficult to focus on the actual typing, but Bell just about held it together through the first couple of paragraphs. Negan had been pacing around the office as he instructed her fingers. He took a break to read what she’d written, and the feeling of having him over her shoulder gave Bell goose bumps. 

‘Just move that part to there.’ He pointed over her shoulder and brushed his hand against her neck. 

Bell craned her neck to one side and closed her eyes, before she remembered she was supposed to be working. She forced her eyes back open and made the amendment as requested. Negan’s hand gripped her neck momentarily before he moved it down the front of her dress to cup her bra-covered breast. All the while he continued to dictate to her and she tried to type, although her form was getting sloppier now. 

Eventually he stopped talking. He littered kisses on her neck, unbuttoned the top of her dress and continued to squeeze at her breasts. Bell moaned quietly at his touch and let her hands flop away from the keyboard. 

‘Up.’ He said gruffly into her ear. 

Bell didn’t keep him waiting; she pushed the chair back and stood up. Negan pushed her forward and she rested her hands on the desk, the position lifted the hem of her dress and exposed the stockings and a hint of her underwear. He stroked his hand up her thigh and grazed her panties. 

‘You do not disappoint, sweetheart.’ He hooked a finger inside her underwear to feel her wetness. 

Bell widened her stance a little and rocked her hips back to meet his touch. 

‘Do I need to teach you how to be patient again?’

‘No.’ She stuttered and gripped the desk to steady herself. 

‘Good girl.’ His finger teased at her clit and Bell tried her best to stay still. ‘Do you remember the rules?’

‘Yes.’

‘Well?’

‘I won’t see anyone else.’ She bit her lip at the feel of his fingers sliding inside her. ‘I won’t tell anyone about us.’

‘What else?’

‘I’ll be where you want me, when you want me.’

‘What are you missing?’

‘I belong to you.’

‘Yes, you do.’ He removed his hand from her underwear and coaxed her body back up to full-height, lifted her chin and kissed her roughly. His hand wrapped around her neck as he held her in place, not that he needed to. ‘On your knees.’ He instructed. ‘Remind me what that pretty mouth of yours is good for.’

Bell lowered herself to her knees and unbuckled his pants. His cock was as magnificent as she remembered. She looked up at him for permission to start; at the slight nod of his head she licked from base to tip before engulfing as much of him as she could in her mouth. She took his low grunt as a good sign as she pumped his length rhythmically in and out of her mouth. 

Negan placed his hand on the back of her head and pushed himself further into her mouth. ‘Good girl, you can take more than that.’

Bell supressed her gag reflex and tilted her head to take more of him. She felt tears start to stream down her face and saliva drool out of the corner of her mouth. Her sex was pooling in her panties and she desperately wanted to touch herself, but she knew better than that – her whole focus needed to be on him.

His grunts were getting closer together and his grip on the back of her head was firmer. He stopped her mouth from pumping and held his cock in her throat as he came. Bell swallowed what she could, but couldn’t stop a few streams from dripping down her chin. She sat back on her heels and gasped for air as he tidied himself away. 

To look at him, you would never guess what had just transpired in that office; Bell, on the other hand, had mascara down her cheeks and a mixture of fluids down her chin and cleavage. 

‘As much of a fucking beautiful sight that is,’ he smiled down at her, a mess on the floor, ‘and it is a beautiful sight; clean yourself up.’ He threw a box of tissues down to her.

Bell wiped her face down as best she could and buttoned her dress back up. She looked up at the clock, it was still only a little after 4pm. She couldn’t go back into the office looking as she did. Negan wasn’t going to let her hide out in his office until 5pm; there was no point in asking. He’d want her to feel the embarrassment and shame. She went to leave his office without a word. 

‘Wait.’

Bell turned around, hopeful that he’d offer her sanctuary.

‘Give me your panties.’

She lifted her skirt, hooked her thumbs around the waist band and pulled the lacy underwear down her slim legs. Once she’d stepped out of them she passed the miniscule garment over to him. He took them without looking up from his desk. Bell left quietly, and uncomfortably made her way back to the admin office.


	4. Chapter 4

**Then**

Bell had taken the call from Lucille; she needed her to watch the baby for a couple of hours until Negan got home. She needed to get back to the hospital unexpectedly. Bell wore her shortest denim shorts, black cropped top, sandals and a cardigan. She had decided she would lose the cardigan as soon as Lucille left for work.

‘How long do you think he’ll be?’ She stood awkwardly in the entrance hall; it was the first time she’d seen Lucille since her husband had fingered her to climax a few days earlier.

‘An hour, maybe two?’ She distractedly collected together her belongings. As always, Lucy was already in bed. ‘I’ll be late, can you let him know? I couldn’t get through to his phone. Thank you so much for doing this, I know it’s short notice.’

Bell waved her off, discarded her cardigan and went to look in the mirror of the downstairs bathroom. She applied her red lipstick, brushed her fingers through her hair and rearranged her top to show a little more cleavage. She was pleased with what she saw and felt a twinge of excitement in her stomach.

Negan was home within the hour. Bell got up from the sofa when she heard the door open and stood in the entrance to the living room.

‘Hi.’ She said in her most seductive tone.

He just looked at her, didn’t say a word and walked through to the kitchen.

Bell followed. ‘How’s your day been?’

‘Fine.’ He took a beer from the fridge.

‘I bet I can make it better.’ She placed her hand on his chest and stood on her tiptoes to go in for a kiss.

‘What are you doing?’ He pushed her away.

Bell’s mouth went dry and her cheeks flushed red with embarrassment. ‘I thought…’

‘You thought?’ He laughed, it sounded cruel and taunting. ‘Did I call you? Did I invite you over?’

‘No.’ She looked down, all of a sudden she felt small and insignificant. Like an annoying bug.

‘No. But here you are; your tits n ass on display, wearing the same shade of lipstick as my wife.’ He shook his head as he took another swig of his beer.

‘I thought you’d like it.’ Her fingers gently touched at her painted lips.

‘You thought I’d like my mistress to remind me of my wife? What would be the point?’ He laughed at her obvious embarrassment. ‘Do you remember the rules?’

‘Yes.’

‘Do any of them require you to think? To make a decision?’

Bell couldn’t believe how cruel he was being. This was a far cry from the man she’d grown to know; she knew he could be surly on occasion, but she hadn’t expected him to be so unkind to her. ‘No. I’ll go.’ She turned to leave.

Negan grabbed her wrist. ‘Since you’re here, it would be a shame to waste the opportunity.’

Bell looked up at him, her eyes were full of expectation.

‘Besides, we need to agree on a punishment for the rule you’ve broken.’ He led her into the sitting room. ‘What do you think it should be?’

‘I broke the rules, you should decide. Sir.’ She had her hands behind her back and her eyes were cast down. She had a feeling about where this was going and she knew how to play along. 

‘Good girl.’ He sat down on the large sofa and grinned wickedly. ‘I should take you over my knee.’

Bell grimaced, she’d never been spanked before. Not even by her father.

‘Unless you think that’s unfair?’

Bell shook her head no and stood closer to him, awaiting his instruction.

‘Shorts off.’

Bell wiggled the barely-there denim shorts off of her hips and down her legs. Her underwear of choice was a pair of plain, cotton panties. She wished she’d chosen something sexier.

‘Come here.’

Bell stepped even closer and Negan placed her body across his lap; her bottom was forced up in the air and her head rested on the sofa cushion.

‘How many do you think?’ His voice gave away a hint of enjoyment beneath the firm, dominant tone.

‘As many as you think I deserve.’

‘You’re a very quick learner, Bluebell.’ He pulled at her underwear, exposing more of her bottom. Bell wiggled uncomfortably at the tightened fabric in her folds.

He landed the first slap on her behind and Bell couldn’t help but jump at the surprise even though she knew it was coming. She counted 10 all together in her head before he stopped. The sensation had started to dull after the first few and she’d also felt something she hadn’t expected – a wetness had started to form between her thighs. She wasn’t sure whether it should have and she wasn’t sure whether she wanted him to know, so she kept her thighs pressed tightly together. This only made the sensation between her legs grow and the wetness with it.

‘Do you think you’ve learned your lesson?’ His hand rested on her reddened cheeks.

Bell nodded, she wasn’t sure whether she had enough strength speak and her focus was firmly on holding her thighs together.

‘I think you know by now not to keep me waiting for an answer.’

‘Yes.’ Her voice was meek and shaky.

‘Good girl.’ His gaze moved over her raw behind and fell between her legs. ‘Did you enjoy your punishment, young lady?’

‘No.’ Bell stuttered.

‘Don’t lie to me.’ His fingers grazed the soaked cotton covering her sex.

‘Yes.’ The shame was clear in her voice. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘What would you have me do about this?’ He grabbed between her legs and Bell couldn’t help but moan.

‘I… I don’t know.’ She was pleased that her face was covered by her hair.

‘Yes you do.’ He rested his hand on the back of her thigh.

‘Touch me.’

‘Where?’

‘There.’ His hand was so close.

‘More specific?’

‘Like you did last time.’

‘And what did I do last time?’

‘You played with my pussy until I came.’ The words came out like a whine, but Bell was too desperate to care.

‘What makes you think you deserve that this time?’

‘I don’t know.’ She tried to raise her hips to feel the hand that was resting near her crotch, but he held her held firmly in place with his free hand.

‘Up.’ His hand slapped lightly in between her legs.

Bell pushed herself up and off of his lap. She rubbed at the sore skin on her bottom and awaited his next instruction.

‘No more shorts, dresses and skirts only from now on.’ He reached for the remote control and changed to the sports channel. ‘You can go now, Bluebell.’

Bell stood for a moment and wondered whether he was serious, but of course he was. She pulled her shorts back on and turned to leave the room. She wanted to ask whether she could stay, but she knew that wasn’t the way this was going to play out. He was completely in control and he knew it.

‘Don’t you dare touch yourself.’ His eyes didn’t leave the screen. ‘I’ll know.’

She looked back at the stern expression on his face before leaving the house. She was confused about how she felt. How could she enjoy what he’d done to her? How could she want him even more than she had before? Why did she yearn to please him? She wiped away a single tear from her cheek on her walk home and stopped any more from escaping her eyes.

The walk home was torture for her. The stiff fabric of her shorts kept rubbing at the sensitive area between her legs. Every few steps she told herself she just had to make it home, then she could have release from this frustration. But then she remembered, she wasn’t allowed to. He said that he would know, and she was pretty sure he actually would.

**

Bell barely slept a wink that night. Her mind kept flitting between desperately wanting Negan to touch her and her irritation with herself for following his instruction and not touching herself. It was all part of the fun, she kept telling herself. She wasn’t following his instructions because he was a man and she was an obedient little woman. People play games, and this was hers. It didn’t make her any less a feminist than she was before. He was teaching her about her desires, her sexuality. He was only controlling her because she was letting him. Bell fell asleep with that last thought on her mind. Her dreams were just as frustrating as being awake.

The next morning she bagged up her shorts, trousers and jeans. She placed them at the back of her closet and made sure that her dresses and skirts had pride of place. It took her two hours just to do that; she checked her messages every five minutes to see whether he’d summoned her – nothing yet.

‘What’re you doing?’ Bell’s nine-year-old sister stood at the entrance to her bedroom. The gawky child had her hair in pig tails and wore a t-shirt with unicorns printed all over.

‘Sorting through my clothes.’

‘Mom did that a couple months ago.’ She took a running jump onto Bell’s bed and dangled her legs over the edge.

‘Tiffany didn’t do it right.’ Bell stroked at a couple of the dresses; she wanted something a little more grown-up, but since her allowance had been cut there was no way she would be able to afford anything.

‘This came for you.’ Trinity tapped at a small package that Bell hadn’t noticed she’d had when she came in.

‘Thank you.’ She took the parcel out of her little sister’s hands and opened it. When she looked inside she was glad she hadn’t tipped it straight out.

‘What is it?’ Trinity tried to get a look.

‘Nothing interesting, just something for college.’ She tucked the parcel away on her shoe rack and tried not to blush too much. ‘Haven’t you got better things to do than watch me rearrange my closet?’

‘Ugh, whatever.’ The pre-teen sullenly stomped out of the room.

When she was sure the coast was clear she tipped the contents of the parcel out into her hand. It was a tiny lace thong, you could barely have called it underwear. She held it up and wondered which parts of her private areas it would actually cover, and then realised that wasn’t really the point of this item. The note in the parcel simply read: “mine, tomorrow. 8pm”. Bell felt a flutter in her stomach. She was excited about wearing the item and in her mind had already started to mentally plan an outfit.


	5. Chapter 5

Bell had been anticipating her next tryst with her former lover all week – although she was pretty sure she should now re-brand him to her “current lover”. The week passed by without any calls down to his office and without any run-ins in the filing room – or other secluded places around the school. She’d also had no messages requesting her company that weekend. Luckily, she had drinks with Amanda planned – surely she would be a welcome distraction.  
   
‘I just want a nice man.’ Amanda pouted. ‘Not too nice, just nice enough…’  
   
‘You’re not making any sense.’ Bell laughed.  
   
‘Be my wing-woman tonight.’  
   
‘So you want me to find you the man-equivalent of the Easter Bunny? What you’re looking for doesn’t exist. I can find you a man that will treat you like crap, or a man that maybe won’t – but not one that will treat you like crap just enough to keep your interest.’  
   
‘He exists! He’s out there somewhere.’ She gestured to the bar, but quickly turned her attention back to her friend. ‘Maybe just not in here.’  
   
‘Definitely not.’ Bell’s eye wandered around the room before settling on Shane. She smiled and her gaze lingered for a little too long.  
   
‘Not him!’ Amanda hit Bell’s arm. ‘I can’t date a guy who used to date my sister. Besides, he’s more like a brother to me.’  
   
‘I didn’t realise you were so close.’ Bell immediately worried that her conversation with him about being “involved” with someone would get back to Amanda.  
   
‘Okay, more like a cousin. But I wouldn’t date my cousin either.’ Amanda’s expression changed from one of humour to one of realisation. ‘Oh, you weren’t thinking about me? Yeah, you should totally go for it.’  
   
‘I’m good.’ Bell turned her back to the bar.  
   
‘Are you sure? He’s a good guy and he’s hot. I could put in a good word.’  
   
‘No.’ Bell hadn’t meant to snap at her friend. ‘I just… I’m not ready to date yet.’  
   
‘Of course. All men are still evil to you. There are some good ones out there, though.’  
   
‘They seem good for a while, until they cheat on you. I’m getting another beer, want one?’ Bell didn’t really need to ask, and she didn’t wait for her friend to respond before going to the bar. She deliberately stood away from the end of the bar Shane had chosen to prop up and waited patiently to be served. She didn’t need the temptation right now.  
   
‘Now, I could swear you and Mandy were talking about me.’ Shane placed his hand on Bell’s hip and spoke closely into her ear. She felt a shiver of anticipation, having him so close to her, but managed to shake away her impulse to fully lean into his touch.    
   
‘I can assure you we have better things to do than talk about men.’ She lied, convincingly – she hoped.  
   
‘I’m sure you do. What are you two drinking?’ He glanced over at their table and the empty beer bottles and swiftly ordered them another round before Bell could even answer him or protest to him paying.  
   
‘Thanks.’ She smiled up at him.  
   
‘Any time.’ He watched her start off back to her table. ‘I mean it. Any time you change your mind about dinner, you just let me know.’  
   
Bell turned to smile at him before joining her friend back at their table.  
   
‘What was that?’ Amanda took one of the bottles out of her hand.  
   
‘Nothing, he just asked me out last week. But…’ She realised she couldn’t repeat the same lie to her friend as the one she had given Shane. Amanda would expect details.  
   
‘You’re not “ready”?’  
   
Bell nodded as she took a sip of her beer.  
   
‘How’s the job?’  
   
‘Thrilling.’ Again, she lied. She couldn’t really tell her friend about the most exciting part of her work-week.  
   
‘You couldn’t pay me to set foot back in that building. I don’t know how you do it.’  
   
‘I need the money. And it’s not so bad.’  
   
**  
   
Bell and Amanda said their goodbyes at the end of the evening and set off on their separate journeys home. Bell was a few yards away from the bar when she felt a hand grasp around her wrist. She looked up to see Negan, and he didn’t look too pleased.  
   
‘Have you had a good evening?’ He pulled her to the side of the street, just at the entrance to the alleyway.  
   
‘Yes.’ Bell looked around to see whether anyone could see, but the coast was clear.  
   
‘Who was that man you were speaking to earlier?’  
   
‘Just a friend of Amanda’s.’ He’d let go of her wrist and Bell rubbed at the part he had gripped.  
   
‘You’re not thinking of breaking the rules, are you?’  
   
‘Of course not.’ She stepped closer to him, his features had softened. ‘I’m yours. To do with as you please.’  
   
‘Yes, you are.’ He stroked her hair out of her face and admired the short dress she was wearing. ‘But you’ve been teasing every man in that bar tonight, with your legs out like that.’  
   
‘I didn’t mean…’ She couldn’t believe she was about to apologise for her choice of clothing. She was angry at how quickly she could slip back into this role with him.  
   
‘It’s okay, Bluebell. I know it’s just for me. I don’t appreciate another man touching what’s mine, though.’  
   
Bell’s mind went back to the moment Shane had put his hand on her hip. She could have easily let the evening go another way with him. She had wanted to kiss him, she had wanted him to touch her, and she had wanted to go home with him. Luckily Negan couldn’t read that from her face.  
   
‘He was just being… friendly. I promise, I would never…’  
   
‘I know you wouldn’t.’ He pulled her closer and kissed her roughly, his hand rested at the back of her neck. ‘You’re a good girl.’  
   
Bell nodded as their lips parted. She wanted more than just a kiss, but it had to be on his terms.  
   
‘You’d do anything I ask.’  
   
Bell nodded, her doe eyes looked up at him in anticipation.  
   
‘Would you show me what you’re wearing under that dress?’  
   
Another nod.  
   
‘Out here on the street, where anyone can see?’  
   
She reluctantly nodded this time and tried to discretely scan the streets to see whether they had company.  
   
‘Unbutton your dress.’  
   
Bell slowly undid the buttons from the top and stopped once she had revealed her lace bra. She looked up at him for confirmation to continue before unbuttoning to her belly button. The dress was short and she only had a few more buttons to go before it was fully open at the front. His eyes encouraged her and Bell let her hands fall to her sides once the dress was fully undone.  
   
His firm grip wrapped around her wrist again and he took her into the alleyway behind the bar. She winced as he pushed her back into the wall. Negan stepped back to get a good look at her. The short black dress hung open revealing her matching underwear and the stockings she had worn “just in case”.  
   
‘Who are you so dressed up for?’ He stroked at the stubble on his chin.  
   
‘You.’  
   
‘We didn’t have anything planned.’  
   
‘You could have called.’  
   
‘I could have.’ He nodded and stepped closer to her. ‘Or you were planning on meeting someone else.’  
   
‘I was about to go home. Alone.’  
   
‘Good girl.’ He bent down to kiss her and lifted her, sliding her body up against the wall.  
   
Bell wrapped her legs around his waist to steady herself and winced at the roughness of the bricks digging into her back through the thin material of her dress. His kisses moved down to her neck, then to her chest, and back up to her mouth.

‘Tell me what you want me to do.’ 

His hot breath on her neck made her turn to goo and she tried to grind herself on him. 

‘Come on, Bluebell. Tell me what you want.’ He stroked his thumb over her lips before placing his hand back at her neck. 

‘Please...’ she almost panted. ‘I want you to fuck me.’

‘Right here? Where anyone could see?’

She nodded yes. 

‘Are you really that desperate for it that you’d fuck me in a dirty alleyway?’ He slipped a finger inside her wetness. 

‘Please.’

Negan unbuttoned his jeans and moved her underwear to the side. He positioned the tip of his cock at her entrance and wiped the hair from her eyes so he could see her properly. ‘Tell me.’

‘I want you to use me,’ she swallowed and caught her breath. ‘Right here, I don’t care who might see. I’m yours. Use me.’ She closed her eyes and bit her lip in anticipation. 

Bell held her breath as Negan thrust his girth into her. She’d forgotten how good he felt and had to dig her fingers into the rough leather of his jacket to stop herself from coming. 

Negan placed his hand over Bell’s mouth to stop her loud moans and that only increased the pleasure for her. Her pussy gripped his cock and she couldn’t hold her orgasm in any longer. 

‘Please...’

‘Cum for me, sweetheart.’ 

Bell’s shaky thighs wrapped tighter around his waist and she let the orgasm ripple through her body. Negan couldn’t hold himself back either and thrust one last time into her, holding her limp body in place until he was fully spent. 

He slowly lowered her back to the ground and swiftly covered himself back up. Bell, on the other hand, had to steady her back against the wall. She couldn’t fully trust her legs just yet. 

Negan smiled at the sight before him. Disheveled hair, exposed underwear, and his cum dripping down her thigh. 

Bell managed to fumble her way through buttoning her dress closed and she tried her best to tidy her hair, but there was no mistaking what had just happened in the alleyway behind the bar.


	6. Chapter 6

**Then**

Bell smoothed down her skirt. She had picked a plaid number, a cheeky nod to him being her former teacher; she teamed it with a black tank top, not wanting to go too over the top. She had also decided to go bare-legged to give him an easy peek of the gift he had sent over. She tied her hair up in a high-ponytail and checked her make-up before leaving. The red lipstick from last time had stayed firmly in her dressing table, instead she’d gone for a pink.

Avoiding her parents was easy enough, Tiffany was talking her dad’s ear off in the kitchen. They wouldn’t have noticed her departure until she was long gone and weren’t likely to follow up on her whereabouts until she returned home. 

It was only a 10 minute walk to Negan and Lucille’s, but it felt like a lifetime to Bell that night. She checked her make-up once more in her compact before knocking on the door. She was surprised to hear the clacking of Lucille’s heels approaching the door, and suddenly regretted her outfit choice. It was an obvious outfit choice for an 18-year-old girl about to hook-up with a man old enough to be her father. 

‘Hey, sweetie.’ Lucille beamed, manic-looking as ever. ‘I’ve got to run – surgery. You know how it is! He’ll be leaving soon enough too.’ She took a moment to check her handbag. ‘ Bye, honey!’ She called back into the house before flying down the porch steps and to her car. 

Bell walked into the house and closed the front door behind her. She poked her head around into the sitting room. There he was, as predicted, watching sports. 

‘Are you wearing it?’ He put his beer down on the coffee table. 

Bell nodded. 

He smiled at her and took a moment to appreciate her outfit choice. ‘You look beautiful.’ 

Bell blushed, she didn’t think he’d ever paid her a complement before. ‘Thank you, sir.’

He walked through to the dining room and she dutifully followed. ‘Let’s see if I got your sizing right.’ He moved one of the chairs out of the way and pushed Bell down so that her hands were resting on the table top and her bottom was completely exposed, apart from her underwear. He traced a finger under the crease of her buttocks and nodded approvingly. 

Bell tried to keep her breathing steady. She still got nervous around him, but she didn’t want to give that away too much. 

Negan flicked at the hem of her skirt. ‘Are you trying to tease me in this schoolgirl shit?’

Bell swallowed, she wasn’t sure whether he was happy with her outfit choice. ‘Maybe a little.’

He slapped her ass playfully and laughed at how she flinched. ‘Were you lucky enough to avoid any embarrassment from my present, or do your parents open your mail?’ His hand teased between her legs and felt her wetness. 

‘No one saw.’ She spread her legs a little wider, hoping he would continue. No such luck. 

‘Shame.’ Negan hooked his fingers into her panties and pulled them down to her knees. ‘I would have loved to see you explain that. I bet your father wouldn’t approve of his baby girl wearing such grown-up underwear.’

‘No, sir. He wouldn’t.’ Bell rocked her hips back, trying to feel his hands on her again. 

‘You’re a little eager, aren’t you?’

‘Yes.’ Her voice was breathy, but she wanted to answer any question he had. She didn’t want to disappoint him in any way. 

Negan stroked at her wetness and allowed his finger to dip between her folds; he avoided her clit altogether. ‘Have you had a boyfriend before, Bluebell?’

‘Yes.’

‘More than one?’

‘Yes.’

‘How many?’

‘Three boyfriends.’ She left out the few casual flings she’d had. 

‘Did you ever let any of them touch you here?’ He continued to touch between her legs. 

‘Yes.’

‘Did you ever let them fuck you?’

‘Yes.’ Bell moaned as he twisted two of his thick fingers inside her. 

‘How many boys have you fucked?’

Bell tried to straighten her mind out; it was difficult to think with him screwing his fingers in and out. ‘Five.’

He let out a low throaty moan. ‘So you’re a slutty little thing?’

Bell would never have expected such a dirty word to excite her, but she felt herself getting even wetter at the name. ‘Yes.’ She didn’t know how else to answer his question. 

‘Tell me what you want me to do to you.’

‘I want you inside me.’ She bit her lip. 

‘My fingers are…’

‘Your cock.’ She quickly corrected, worried that he would stop touching her to teach her a lesson in the value of clarity. 

‘And what would you have me do?’

‘Fuck me.’

‘You want me to fuck you? You don’t want me to make love to you gently?’

Even if she had been aware that that was an option, it wasn’t what she would have asked for. ‘No.’

Bell listened as Negan unzipped his pants. She heard the material fall to the floor and felt the head of his cock poking at her entrance. ‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes.’ It took all of her self-control not to thrust her hips back. She was rewarded with the feeling of his length as he started to enter her. She was disappointed at first with the slow pace, but when she felt herself start to stretch around him she was grateful. Bell winced as he eased himself inside her. 

Negan laughed again as the last few inches entered her tight pussy. ‘Not what you’re used to, sweetheart?’

Bell shook her head before remembering that she needed to answer him. ‘Bigger.’ She turned her head to try and get a look, but there was no way she could see from her position bent over the table. 

Negan slid out slowly and groaned as he slid back in at a slightly quicker pace. Bell could feel her body start to accommodate him, but his girth was something she’d never experienced before. His pace picked up again, but was still measured and deliberate. She couldn’t help but moan each time her body was thrust forward when he slammed the last inch into her tiny body. 

‘You like that?’

‘Yes.’ Her fingers gripped harder to the table. 

‘Tell me.’ He never broke his pace.

‘I love being stretched by your big cock.’ She had to catch her breath and enjoyed the feeling of the next few thrusts. 

‘You keep talking like that and I’m gonna cum faster than I planned, sweetheart.’

Bell wasn’t sure whether she was supposed to carry on or shut up. ‘Please don’t stop. You feel so good.’

Negan slapped at her firm ass and spread her cheeks to get a better view as he drilled in and out of the teen. His thumb trailed down to her wetness and circled her clit, he couldn’t help but laugh when he felt her cunt grip harder at his member. ‘You’re such a needy little slut.’

‘Yes.’ She nodded, unaware that it hadn’t been a question. Her focus was split between the sensation of her tight pussy being stretched open and the feeling of his thumb circling at her clit. 

‘How long since you last came?’

She tried to count the days since the first couch incident, but she was unable to do the simple maths. ‘When you made me…’

‘So you haven’t touched your needy little cunt since then?’

‘No.’ She shook her head furiously, desperate for him to finish what he’d started and not leave her to beg for release.

‘Good girl.’ He moved his thumb away from her clit and traced up to her asshole. 

Bell gasped as he started to ease his thumb into her ass. ‘Stop!’

Negan slammed his cock into her and held it there; his thumb touched just at the entrance to her other hole. 

‘No, don’t stop. Just…’

‘Tell me what you want me to do.’

Bell took a moment to think before she spoke. ‘I want you to, but I’ve never… done that.’

‘I promise it’ll feel good.’

‘O… okay.’ She moaned as he started fucking her again and screwed her eyes shut as she felt his thumb enter her asshole. Soon her body adjusted to the sensation, just as it had to the girth of his cock. She felt herself pushing back to meet his thrusts – in both holes. 

Negan smiled at the sight before him and at the familiar sensation of her orgasm starting to build. He knew she wouldn’t last much longer, and he wasn’t going to be able to control himself for too long either. 

‘Do you need to cum, sweetheart?’

A “yes” was just about audible in between the moans. 

‘Even with my thumb in your ass?’

‘Yes.’

‘You’re my dirty little girl, aren’t you?’ His free hand gripped at her hip as his pace started to pick up.

‘Yes.’ Bell’s grip on the table tightened. ‘I’m your little whore… and I need to cum on your…’ She took a moment in between moans. ‘I’m gonna cum all over your huge dick… please.’ She felt her whole body shake as she tried to contain her orgasm. ‘Please, sir.’

‘Cum for me, Blue.’

That was all she needed. She felt the walls of her pussy spasm around him and grip his cock inside her. She had no idea whether she was screaming with pleasure, or whether the moans were inside her head. She didn’t know whether the moment lasted a few seconds or minutes, time seemed to stand still and move fast all at once as the pleasure made its way through every inch of her body. 

She was in a daze when her mind cleared. She wasn’t sure how she’d got there, but she was on her knees with Negan’s large cock pointed at her mouth. Instinctively, Bell widened her lips. He tasted salty and musky, a mixture of his own smell and hers. She couldn’t fit much of his length into her mouth, but it didn’t matter too much. A few pumps in and out of her mouth and Negan released his load messily into her mouth, onto her face and over her chest. 

Bell was still getting her breath back from her own orgasm, but he was calm and collected only moments later – tucked neatly back into his clothes as if nothing had happened. The only evidence of the night’s activity was all over her. 

‘Thank you.’ She wasn’t sure why that had been the first thing to come into her head, or why she even said it. But it made him smile.


	7. Chapter 7

Bell loathed the mall, but it was the easiest place for her to find a dress for Alexa’s engagement party. She wasn’t really interested in going, but Amanda and her family were like her second family – plus they were nicer to her than her own family. So here she was, in hell on a Saturday morning desperately trying to find something appropriate to wear to a garden party the following weekend where she’d have to answer questions about what she was doing with her life. 

She was kicking herself for not bringing Jen or Amanda with her by the time she’d tried on upwards of 10 different dresses. She stepped out of the dressing room to check out the current choice: a knee-length black and floral tea dress. She turned her body awkwardly to test out the length and adjusted the neck line to make sure it didn’t show too much cleavage. 

‘Bell?’

Bell twirled around to see Lucille entering the dressing rooms. 

‘I knew it was you!’ Lucille floated towards a stunned Bell and embraced her. ‘I had no idea you were back in town!’

‘I moved back a couple of weeks ago.’

‘I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. How are you?’

Bell forced the image of Lucille’s husband fucking her against a wall in a filthy alleyway out of her mind and told Lucille that she was fine. 

‘That dress looks lovely on you. You’ve grown into such a beautiful woman. What are you doing now you’re back in town?’

‘I’m working at the school. It’s just temporary…’

‘Negan didn’t mention. I’ll be having words with him later.’ Lucille placed her hangers inside one of the empty cubicles. 

‘It’s a big school… And I’m sure he’s busy.’

‘You’ll have to come over for dinner.’

Bell nodded as she tried to think of an excuse, any excuse, not to go. 

‘I’m off duty tomorrow night. Surely you’re free on a Sunday?’

Bell tried to protest, but Lucille wouldn’t take “no” for an answer. Before Bell could make up an excuse Lucille had disappeared into her cubicle and Bell had been left in front of the mirror completely dumbfounded. 

She went back into her own cubicle and quickly changed back into her own clothes. She swiftly paid for the tea dress and headed out to her car. Before she set off she sent Negan a message to warn him about the awkward dinner date. 

**

If picking a dress for an engagement party had been difficult for Bell, choosing something appropriate to wear to dinner with her lover and his oblivious wife was even worse. Her bed was piled high with poor choices and her mind was racked with guilt. She looked in the mirror at her last possible choice – a mid-calf black jersey dress, cropped cardigan and flats. She looked presentable, but not like she was about to try to seduce anyone. Bell let her hair hang loose and kept her make-up minimal. 

She took a gentle stroll over to Lucille and Negan’s and told herself that the evening would fly by. She would arrive, have some idle chit-chat, eat and then leave. No one was going to make this awkward. There was no need for it to be awkward. 

She sighed as she waited for the door to be answered. Lucille greeted Bell with a wide smile and her curly hair framing her face. Bell couldn’t help but smile at the unchanged lady before her – she hadn’t noticed it the day before, but Lucille seemed to be frozen in time. Her style was very much the same and she still wore her statement red lipstick.

‘Don’t just stand there, come on in.’ Lucille stepped to the side and ushered Bell into the dining room. 

Bell listened to Lucille’s small talk and gave appropriate responses as expected, but her mind flashed back to the first time Negan had actually fucked her. She felt guilt in her stomach and a wetness between her legs as her gaze rested on the spot of the dining table where she had gripped so tightly. 

‘Red or white?’

‘Red, please.’ Bell smiled as she watched Lucille float into the kitchen. She looked at the family photos on the sideboard; evidence of happy family holidays, events and birthdays. Lucy would be seven now and Bell couldn’t believe how much the little girl looked like her mother. ‘She’s grown so much.’ Bell smiled up at Lucille as she took the glass from her hand. 

‘She has. It seems like just yesterday you were our babysitter and she was no trouble at all.’

‘I don’t think she cried once while I was her sitter. I barely knew she was there.’

‘I can guarantee you her current sitter does not have it as easy as that.’ 

The small talk flowed easily and Bell started to feel as though she’d get through the evening without having a panic attack. When they sat down to dinner Negan joined them. Apparently he’d been reading Lucy her bedtime story. 

‘You were living in DC weren’t you, Bell?’ Lucille passed the bowl of salad over to her guest. 

‘I was.’

‘What made you come back home?’

‘I couldn’t afford to live there by myself.’ She had managed to avoid telling Negan about her ex-boyfriend so far and had been hoping to keep it that way. ‘When my boyfriend and I broke up I had to move home.’

‘That’s a shame. What happened?’

Bell glanced at Negan briefly and decided to lie. She wanted to spare herself the embarrassment and didn’t want to give him any satisfaction. ‘We just grew apart.’

‘Well that’s his loss. Isn’t it, honey?’ Lucille looked over at her husband. 

‘Sure.’ He nodded. 

‘I’ll bet you’ve got them lining up to ask you out.’

Bell smiled. ‘Not so much. But that’s fine by me.’

‘An intelligent young woman like you should be having fun!’

‘Honey, I’m sure Bell doesn’t want to talk to us about her love life.’ Negan interjected. 

‘I didn’t mean to embarrass you, honey.’ She smiled sympathetically at Bell. 

‘Not at all.’ Bell shook her head and focussed her attention on her plate of food. 

Lucille hadn’t let the awkward silence fill the room for long, she was chattering on about various subjects with small pauses in between for the other two to give short verbal signs that they were listening. 

Bell looked up from her food and caught Negan’s eye. She had a feeling he’d been staring at her for a good few minutes. She made herself look over at Lucille, although she could have looked into those eyes of his for the rest of the night. Her body wanted him to ravage her then and there, but her brain was telling her what a bad person she was. 

**

With Lucille’s continued conversation the evening passed by quickly. Bell thanked the two of them for their hospitality and started to head for the door. 

‘Honey, we’re not just going to let Bell walk home alone are we?’ Lucille gave her husband a look. 

He grabbed his keys off of the side. ‘Of course not. I need to go to the late-night pharmacy anyway.’

‘Thanks again for a lovely evening.’ Bell hugged Lucille before heading out to Negan’s car. She seated herself in the passenger seat and sat quietly as he started the car. 

As they left the driveway she knew he wasn’t taking her straight home, he’d started to go in the opposite direction. She stayed quiet, asking questions wasn’t part of their agreement. Negan pulled into a secluded area about 10 minutes from his neighbourhood and turned the car off. Wordlessly, he leaned over and roughly kissed Bell. 

She released her seat belt, hiked her dress up to her waist and straddled Negan in the driver’s seat. She knew by the way he’d been looking at her over the dinner table that it’d taken a lot to control himself until they were well out of sight. 

He ran his hands through her hair and held her body close to his. His spare hand ran down her back and groped at her ass before moving her dress out of the way and feeling for her underwear. 

Bell lifted herself off of him slightly so he could move her panties to the side. She used her own hands to release his cock from his jeans and guided it to her folds. She stopped a moment and looked into his eyes for confirmation before sliding herself down his length. 

Negan pulled at the neckline of her dress to expose her breasts. The thin jersey material tore slightly and revealed her lace bra. He massaged his thumb over her nipple and smiled at the moan escaping her lips. 

Her hips gyrated on his lap as his cock painfully and pleasurably filled her up. She revelled in the fullness between her legs and his hands all over her body. As her movements quickened Negan’s hands moved down to her hips. She could tell he was close and she could feel her own orgasm building inside. Her moans were louder and quicker and he grunted as he held her in place. Bell felt herself tighten around the dick buried deep inside and her own orgasm waved through her body. Negan grunted one last time and held her in place as he pumped his sperm into her young cunt. 

**

Bell showered as soon as she got in. She was pleased to make it up to the bathroom without cum dripping down her thigh. When she walked back into her bedroom she was surprised to see her little sister sitting at the end of her bed. 

‘Can I help you?’ Bell walked over to her dressing table and reached for her moisturiser. 

‘Did coach Negan just drop you home?’

‘Why do you ask?’

‘I saw him.’

‘Then you know he did.’

‘Why was he dropping you home?’ 

‘I had dinner with him and his wife.’ Bell finished smoothing the cream over her face. ‘Not that it’s any of your business.’

‘All the girls on the squad think he’s real hot… for an old guy.’ 

Bell looked over at her sweet looking little sister. She wasn’t a gawky child anymore. Her mousy hair was now dyed blonde and Tiffany had clearly given her a generous allowance for clothes and make-up. ‘Yeah, a lot of girls had a crush on him when I was in high school too.’

‘Did you?’ Trinity twirled her blonde hair in her fingers. 

‘No.’

‘I don’t believe you.’ Trinity continued to grin at her big sister. ‘If I were your age…’

‘You shouldn’t be talking about things like that at your age…’

‘I’m old enough.’ The 14-year-old smiled. 

‘You’re really not.’ Bell laughed. ‘You should focus on boys your own age.’

‘I bet his “thingy” is huge.’

Outwardly Bell cringed at her little sister’s choice of word and she had to stop herself from confirming her suspicions. ‘Trinity, go to your own room.’

‘Bell.’ Trinity turned to her sister before fully leaving the room. ‘You’re blushing.’

Bell turned to face her mirror. She was indeed a shade of pink.


	8. Chapter 8

**Then**

Bell checked her makeup in the bathroom mirror and buttoned the top of her dress. She held onto the sink as her mind flashed back to moments before when she had been fucking a married man in his living room. She tried not to spend too much time thinking about Lucille and what she would think of her if she ever found out; but those thoughts couldn’t help but penetrate her mind in the moments after her time with Negan. 

When she exited the bathroom Negan was nowhere to be seen.

‘Bell, honey,’ Lucille clacked her way through the front door. ‘What are you doing here?’

She tried to think of a plausible explanation, one that didn’t involve the truth – obviously. One that would quash any suspicion growing in her mind. 

‘I asked her to watch Lucy while I was out.’ Negan walked in from the kitchen. Beer in hand, relaxed and casual. ‘Just got in myself.’

‘It’s pretty late…’ Lucille checked the clock as she slipped out of her heels.

It was after 1am, Bell had never been at the house later than 11.30. ‘I was just leaving.’ She reached for her handbag from the coatrack.

‘I’m not letting you walk home at this hour.’ Lucille shook her head. ‘You can take the guest room.’

‘I couldn’t…’

‘Of course you can.’ Lucille smiled at Bell and walked over to kiss Negan on the cheek. ‘Can you get the sheets out, honey? I’ve been on my feet for 18 hours and I’m back in for 8am.’

‘Sure.’ He smiled at his wife as she slumped up to their bedroom.

‘I don’t have to stay, it’ll be weird. I’ll be fine walking home.’

‘You think she won’t ask questions when she notices you didn’t stay over?’

Bell shrugged and followed Negan to the guest room.

‘There are some spare toiletries in the en suite, if you want to wash up.’ He gestured to the guest bathroom and Bell followed his instruction.

**

When Bell exited the bathroom, make-up free and fresh breath, Negan was just finishing up with the sheets. She stood awkwardly to the side; he didn’t want her there and she didn’t want to be there, not while his wife was asleep upstairs.

‘All ready.’ He turned toward Bell.

‘Thanks,’ she smiled and waited for him to leave.

Instead he walked over to her and stroked the side of her face. ‘Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?’ His eyes looked deeply into hers and he sounded completely genuine, no bullshit.

Bell turned her face away in embarrassment. How was she supposed to answer that?

‘I mean it.’ He moved her face back towards his own. ‘You are so fucking pretty.’ He stroked his thumb over her lips.

Bell could feel her chest heave as her body involuntarily leaned towards him.

‘Why is a girl like you so interested in me?’ Negan’s hand rested on the small of her back and he pulled her body closely against his. ‘How did I get so lucky?’

Bell stood on her tiptoes and raised herself as high as she could. She kissed him softly before stepping back.

‘Take your clothes off.’

Bell looked up; his features had changed from soft back to severe. She unbuttoned her dress and slid it off her shoulders. She looked up for confirmation before unhooking her bra and then sliding her panties down her slim legs.

‘On the bed.’

Bell followed his instruction and lay her body down on the fresh sheets.

Negan sat on the edge of the bed and stroked at her leg. There was a look in his eyes that excited Bell, but she also knew her place in this relationship so she waited patiently for him to take the lead or giver her further instructions. He leaned over and kissed her soft lips; Bell couldn’t help but let a moan escape her mouth. 

Negan pulled away and smiled at her. ‘You’re so sweet. All I have to do is kiss you and you get all hot and bothered.’ He stroked his hand up her bare thigh and to her uncovered sex. 

Bell swallowed hard and closed her eyes. She tried to stop herself from moaning and instead whimpered quietly. 

‘You’re always ready for me, aren’t you?’ 

She spread her legs further apart and tilted her body up towards his.

‘Such a needy girl.’ He circled his thumb over her clit and relished in the girly noises coming from her lips. 

Bell could feel herself contract around his thick fingers, her orgasm was on the precipice when he removed his fingers from her and thrust his erect cock deep inside of her. She moaned louder than she had planned and felt Negan’s had quickly cover her mouth.

‘Quietly, Bluebell.’ He gestured up to the ceiling. When he saw her nod he moved his hand away.

Bell clutched at the bedsheets; quietly enjoying his thrusts, his kisses and his hands. Her eyes focussed on the ceiling as Negan rubbed at her clit again. Her mind wandered to the sleeping wife upstairs, the clueless wife, and it should have made her feel guilty or disgusted with herself. She hadn’t expected the thought to turn her on even more. She arched her back to meet his thrusts and clenched her jaw to keep the sounds inside. She bit her lip as her orgasm built again and her eyes rolled back while her mouth stretched open, silently moaning. 

Negan held onto her slim hips as he took his last thrusts. Once he was spent he rolled off of the teen babysitter and dressed himself. Bell watched as he silently left the room. She plopped her head back onto the pillow and closed her eyes. She didn’t get a wink of sleep that night. 

She got out of bed and showered as soon as the sun came up. When she left the guest room she ran into Lucille in the kitchen, she had forgotten she was going back to the hospital so early. 

‘Did you sleep well?’ Lucille beamed. Bell wondered how the woman stayed so upbeat all of the time. 

‘I did.’ Bell lied. 

‘I know why I’m up so early.’ Lucille poured a cup of coffee for her guest. ‘What are you doing up at this hour?’

‘I have plans with my parents today.’ Another lie. 

‘I can drop you off on the way in if you like?’

Bell couldn’t accept a lift from her, it didn’t seem right after sleeping with her husband. But she wondered whether it would look odd if she declined. 

‘Bell?’

‘I’ll walk.’ She smiled. ‘I like the fresh air.’

‘Did my husband pay you yet?’ Lucille reached for her purse and looked at the blank look on Bell’s face. ‘For your services?’

‘Excuse me?’ Bell squinted. 

‘You’re not a morning person are you? You do remember you babysat for us last night, don’t you?’ The oblivious woman laughed in her airy way. 

‘Um, yes of course. He already paid me.’ Bell took a large gulp of the scolding hot coffee to compensate for her weirdness. 

‘You deserve a tip any way.’ Lucille handed her a $20 note.

‘I couldn’t…’

‘Don’t be silly, I know you’re saving your babysitting money for college. You’ll need all you can get.'

Bell swigged down the rest of the drink and reluctantly took the money. She said her goodbyes as quickly and politely as possible. She spent her walk home feeling like a cheap whore as well as a homewrecker.


	9. Chapter 9

Bell smoothed her skirt down before knocking on Negan’s office. She waited for the familiar sound of his voice before she entered, but no response came. She thought about knocking again, but stopped when she heard a woman’s voice. Bell stood still and listened closely outside the door – it was the soft moan of a woman lost in pleasure. 

She felt her heart leap into her throat, she felt sick, but mostly she felt jealous. Her hand rested on the door handle and for a moment she was ready to walk in on her lover and whomever he was pleasuring in his office. She thought about what she might say, or what she might do, but every scenario ended in her being embarrassed or chastised. For all she knew it could be his wife. How would she explain her intrusion then? 

Bell gently removed her hand from the door and stepped back. She knew whatever she did or said wouldn’t matter. She wasn’t his wife, she had no right to feel hurt or betrayed – and the “rules” didn’t make him exclusive to her, did they? She quietly walked down the corridor and around the corner. She may not be able to confront him, but she could at least wait to see who he was with. 

**

‘I’m so glad you could make it!’ Alexa reached out to hug Bell. 

‘Thank you so much for inviting me.’ Bell kissed her friend’s sister on the cheek and smiled broadly. ‘I can’t believe you’re getting married.’

After a few minutes of small talk with the bride-to-be Bell found herself on glass number two of the champagne as she weaved through the various guests. She knew most of them; the town wasn’t that big and her family moved in the same circles as Amanda’s. 

Bell put her empty glass down and picked up another. She manoeuvred her way past her parents and settled on a spot towards the back of the garden, next to the summer house. Her head felt a little light from the booze and she smiled at the crowd of people milling around the garden. 

‘I thought you’d have a date.’

Bell turned her head to see Shane beside her. ‘Huh?’

‘A date, where’s your boyfriend?’

‘Oh.’ She looked down into her glass, as if it was going to tell her what to say. ‘”Boyfriend” would be a strong word.’

Shane opened his mouth to ask another question, but instead smiled at her as she knocked back her glass of champagne. 

‘I’m not sure it’s going to work out.’

‘I won’t pry.’ Shane held his hand up. 

‘Didn’t you bring anyone to this thing?’

‘No, I’m here by myself.’

‘I’m surprised; Amanda tells me you’re quite the eligible bachelor.’

‘And yet, I can’t seem to get a date.’ He gave her a knowing look. 

‘You might get lucky.’ She swapped out her empty glass for a fresh one as one of the servers walked past. ‘Abbie’s single again.’

‘I’m not interested in Abbie.’ His tone was curt. 

Bell watched as Shane walked over to another group of guests. She wanted nothing more than to drag him into the summer house and have her way with him, but she hadn’t had enough champagne to actually be that bold – yet. 

She circled around the party again, avoiding her dad and Tiffany, and found herself in the kitchen helping herself to a glass of water. Her skin was hot from the sun and her head was fuzzy from the drink. The water felt like the most luxurious thing that had ever passed her lips. 

Bell steadied herself on the counter, closed her eyes and smiled at the possibility of having a normal relationship, rather than something shrouded in secrets and lies. 

‘You look like a fucking angel.’

Bell opened her eyes to see Negan standing before her. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘Is that how you speak to me now?’ 

‘How would you like me to speak to you?’ She straightened herself up, not having yet confronted him about the incident in his office. She still wasn’t sure whether she would. Bell composed herself. ‘This isn’t working for me anymore.’

Negan wrapped his fingers around Bell’s upper arm as she started to walk past him. ‘You don’t tell me when it’s over.’

‘Let go.’ She tried to make her voice sound firm as she attempted to shrug off his grasp, but he firmly held onto her. 

‘You’ll come back to me when you realise you’ve got an itch you can’t reach.’

‘Not now I know where else you’ve been.’

Negan’s mouth widened into a smile and he laughed at her. In no scenario that had played out in her head had he laughed at her. It made her feel small and insecure. 

‘Aren’t I enough for you?’ She tried and failed to stop her voice from cracking. 

‘I never made any vows to you, doll.’

‘I followed all of your rules…’ Bell walked past him and stopped in the doorway. ‘Aren’t you worried that I’ll tell your wife?’

‘Not one bit.’

**

Bell had spent the rest of that weekend in her room, feigning illness so that she had a good excuse to be a hermit. She couldn’t avoid going into work on Monday, no matter how she attempted to justify it to herself. If she didn’t work she wouldn’t get paid, and if she didn’t get paid she couldn’t move out. Moving out was more important than her pride. 

The morning was taken up with her usual repetitive tasks, and she hoped that the afternoon would be just as uneventful – no such luck. 

‘Miss Merriweather.’

Bell looked up to see Mrs C.

‘Coach Negan has requested these files.’ She handed a list over to Bell. 

She desperately wanted to tell Mrs C to deal with it herself, but she knew that would do her no favours. ‘Okay.’ She took the list. ‘Did he request me?’ She regretted the question the moment it came out. 

‘What possible reason would he have for that?’ The older woman rolled her eyes. ‘It’s the files he wants, dear, not you.’

Bell gave a half smile before heading off to complete the errand. She waited a few seconds before knocking on Negan’s office door. She wanted to be sure he was alone.

‘Yes.’

She clutched the files with one arm as she walked in, deliberately leaving the door open, and placed the files on his desk. She tried not to be bothered by his wandering gaze travelling all over her body. 

‘I knew you wouldn’t be able to stay away for long.’

‘Just doing my job.’

‘I bet you’ve been waiting all day for a reason to come down here.’ 

She hated that smile on his face. ‘You asked for the files…’

‘I like your dress.’

Bell’s hand absentmindedly fell onto the knot at the side of her wrap dress. 

‘I wonder what you have on underneath.’

She turned to face the door; she was just one bad decision away from closing the door and giving herself to him again. She told herself that it would be so easy just to walk out and go back to her administrative duties upstairs. Bell closed the door and turned back towards him; she kept her eyes focussed at the floor so she didn’t have to see his smug grin. 

‘I haven’t got all day…’

Bell pulled at the tie to the side of her dress and let the fabric fall over. She could almost hear him smile as she revealed her black lace half-cup bra and matching panties, but most importantly the lace-top thigh highs. 

‘Now I wonder why you chose to wear that today.’ 

Bell could feel her cheeks flush, but she kept her eyes fixed on the floor. 

‘Come here.’ He waited for her as she slowly made her way to his side of the desk. His hand traced up her thighs and stopped just short of her crotch. ‘I suppose you thought we’d just carry on as normal?’

Bell looked at his quizzically. 

‘You were rude to me the other day.’

‘I’m sorry…’ She stuttered the words, but he still didn’t look happy. ‘I’m sorry, sir.’

‘That sort of behaviour can’t go unpunished.’ Negan stood up from his chair, pushed the open dress off of her shoulders and walked over to the sofa he had against one of the walks in his office. ‘Over my knee.’ He instructed. 

‘But…’

‘If you behave like a petulant child, you’ll be treated like one.’

She reluctantly positioned herself over his lap, her head rested on the cool leather and her hands grasped at the arm of the sofa for stability. 

Negan stroked at the material of her panties and rested his hand on her bottom. ‘How many do you think?’

She knew it was a trick question, whatever she said would be doubled, tripled or ignored. 

‘Five?’ She bit her lip hoping he didn’t choose a much higher number.’

‘I think ten should do it. Count them out.’

The first one came as a shock to her, she had expected him to make her wait longer. ‘One,’ she stuttered. 

The next four landed on alternate cheeks and she didn’t miss a beat in counting her punishment. He gave a her a little break and rubbed at her sore behind before parting her legs slightly and coaxing her hips upwards. 

Bell’s face pressed further into the sofa and she tried not to moan when she felt her pussy lips part with her thighs being pushed apart. 

‘I see you’re enjoying this as usual.’

His next smack landed at the top of her thigh, just below her buttock, and it smarted. She winced in pain and then chastised herself for feeling the all too familiar warmth form between her legs. ‘Six,’ she just about remembered to say in time before he started from the top. She remembered how this went. 

He was slower with the last four, always happy to draw out her penance. ‘Up.’ He tapped her bum again, though this time playfully. 

Bell got to her feet and rubbed at her sore skin. She was embarrassed to feel how wet she was, and how much she wanted him to use her. 

‘Bend over the desk.’ He ordered. 

Bell looked at him with surprise. 

‘Did you think it would be that easy?’

She searched his face, hoping he wasn’t serious – she knew he was. Bell placed her hands on the desk and arched her back to push out her bottom, just as he liked. 

Negan pulled her panties down to her knees and dipped a finger inside her wetness. ‘You never disappoint.’ He screwed his fingers in and out a few times, pulling moans from her throat as he did. 

Bell struggled to keep her legs steady, her arms had to hold most of her weight. She hoped that he had forgotten about punishing her and she let herself get lost in the pleasure of his touch. That was until his slick fingers trailed up to her ass. She took a deep breath and made herself relax. 

‘Has anyone been here since me?’ He slid one finger in as he posed his question. 

Bell shook her head; she had almost forgotten how to speak. The pause in his touch told her that she needed to use words. ‘No, sir.’

‘Good. I believe you.’ He worked his finger in and out a few times before another joined it. ‘Do you want me to stop?’

Bell tried to steady her breathing. ‘No, sir.’

Negan now had three of his thick fingers moving in and out of her ass. She heard his zipper open and the thick material of his pants fall to the ground. She was rewarded with the feeling of his cock deep in her pussy. He pushed himself in slowly, coating himself fully in her juices. 

Bell hoped, futilely, that he would carry on like that. She would cum in a matter of minutes. She sighed as she felt him leave, her pussy tensed around the memory of him being there. 

‘Are you ready?’ He held a hand on her hip to keep her steady. 

‘Yes, sir.’

His fingers were pulled from her ass and she felt Negan position the head of his cock there. He squeezed the first inch in and Bell felt the wetness drip out her pussy and onto her thigh; she hated that this turned her on so much. The fuller she got the more she wanted to touch herself, she desperately wanted the relief of an orgasm. 

Negan grunted as he bottomed out inside of her. He carried on sliding in and out slowly for the next few lengths, making sure she was comfortable before he picked up his pace. 

Bell’s chest was heaving and she had to bit her lip to stop the moans from coming out loudly. Her pussy kept contracting, begging to be filled. 

‘You enjoying that, doll?’

‘Yes, sir.’ Her voice was quick and breathless. 

‘Do you like getting fucked in the ass like a slut?’

‘Yes, sir.’

‘Tell me how much.’

Bell swallowed hard, she wasn’t sure she could say much more than those two words of agreement.

‘Having you on the end of my cock doesn’t make me any more patient, you know that.’

‘I love having your huge cock in my ass, sir.’ Bell took a few sharp intakes of breath to compose herself. ‘I’m so fucking wet for you, sir.’

Negan moved his hand under her dripping cunt, and she was sure she heard him chuckle. 

‘Please…’

‘Please, what?’

‘Please let me play with my pussy while you fuck my ass… sir.’ 

‘Since you asked so nicely…’

Bell shifted her weight onto her left arm and slowly moved her free hand down to her pussy. She knew she was wet, but she hadn’t expected to be this wet. Gingerly, she inserted two fingers past her folds; she could feel the movement of his cock moving in and out of her ass through the thin barrier of skin. Bell bit her lip as she moved her fingers in and out, matching Negan’s pace. The lewd squelching sounds both embarrassed and turned her on at the same time. 

‘Are you going to cum for me, sweetheart?’ 

His thrusts were getting shorter, she knew he must be close. ‘Yes, please.’

His hand gripped her hip tighter as he slammed into her one last time. ‘Cum all over your fingers.’

Bell performed to his command, her pussy clenched at her fingers and she stifled her moans as much as she could. She felt him tighten inside her ass as he pumped his cum inside of her. Her skin tingled, her limbs were numb and her mind was vacant of anything other than the pleasure shooting through her nerves. She wasn’t sure whether she was quiet or loud, all she could hear was a ringing in her ears. 

As she began to come back around to reality, her fingers still deep inside of herself, she looked back to see where he was – no longer behind her. Bell slid her fingers out and slowly straightened herself up to standing position. When she turned back towards the sofa she was greeted by his smug grin. 

‘Have you learned your lesson?’

Bell nodded before adding ‘yes.’ She bent down to pull up her underwear. 

‘I’ll take those.’ He held out his hand. ‘I think you deserve to spend the rest of the day walking around like a whore.’

She let the lace panties drop to the floor and then handed them over to him. ‘Yes, sir.’

**

Bell made a stop at the bathroom before heading back to her desk. She cleaned herself up as best she could and checked in the mirror that her new panty-less look wasn’t obvious. She was okay – the material of her dress was thick enough not to show that she was going commando. 

She hated that she was so easily controlled by that man. All he had to do was snap his fingers and she was his, she would do anything for him – no matter how much she told herself she wouldn’t. 

Bell checked the messages on her phone – just the one message from Amanda – “drinks?” God, she could use a drink tonight. She quickly responded to agree plans and tried to focus on her work for the rest of the afternoon – an almost impossible task. 

**

The first hour of drinks with Amanda consisted of listening to her go on and on about her love life. They were three drinks in before there was a gap in the conversation. Bell had been working up the courage to reveal her secret to her best friend. 

‘I need to tell you something.’ Bell’s finger traced the rim of her glass as she looked up to her friend. 

‘Okay.’ Amanda sat back in her chair, giving her friend her full attention. 

‘I don’t want you to judge me.’ She took a deep breath, she knew she’d feel better if she just shared. ‘I’ve been…’

‘Hi, Shane!’ Amanda’s eyes brightened and her mouth formed into her signature wide-smile. ‘Would you like to join us?’

‘Sure, I’m just going to grab a drink first. Do you ladies want anything?’

‘Another round would be great.’ Amanda held up her glass and smiled. 

Bell managed a cordial smile as he walked over to the bar. 

‘Sorry, sweetie, what was it you were saying?’

She’d lost the nerve now, and there wouldn’t be nearly enough time for Amanda to get over the shock of her revelation before Shane came back from the bar. ‘Nothing.’ Bell knocked back the remainder of her drink. 

‘He likes you.’ Amanda nodded towards the bar. ‘I was sure he was going to ask you out at Alexa’s engagement party.’

Bell shook her head and looked down – but Amanda wasn’t paying any attention to her. 

‘I should ask him why he didn’t…’

‘No.’ Bell snapped. ‘Don’t embarrass me.’

‘Okay.’ She held her hands up defensively. 

Bell sat in relative silence for the next fifteen minutes while Amanda gave Shane the short version of her woes. She couldn’t help but smile at the look on Shane’s face – he had no idea what to say. Luckily for him, Amanda didn’t need much input for a conversation. 

‘Speak of the devil.’ Amanda put her glass down on the table. ‘Excuse me while I go and speak to the man in question.’

Bell looked over her shoulder to see which poor man it was before turning her gaze back to her drink. 

‘You left the party early the other day.’ Shane shifted one seat closer to Bell. 

She opened her mouth to make a sarcastic remark, but she couldn’t be bothered being antagonising. ‘I wasn’t feeling well.’

‘I hope it didn’t have anything to do with me.’ His voice sounded playful, but his eyes conveyed his seriousness. 

‘More to do with the cheap champagne, I think.’ Bell smiled. ‘I had one hell of a headache for the rest of the weekend.’

‘I was going to ask you,’ he ran a hand through his thick hair – she had decided this was a nervous tick of his, ‘if you wanted to go to dinner.’

Bell’s first instinct was to reject him – she had the rules to think about – but the few drinks she’d had had given her some courage; yes it was false courage, but courage nonetheless. ‘I would love to.’


	10. Chapter 10

*Then*

Bell hadn’t heard from Negan for five days. Part of her was relieved, she had been so racked with guilt and shame since seeing Lucille that morning, but she missed him – his voice, his touch, his smell. She wondered when she had become so pathetic. She’d had boyfriends before, but she’d never felt this. The thought that they were “meant to be” kept slipping into her head. Even though he had told her that he would never leave his wife she couldn’t help but fantasise about a life together. 

It wasn’t like she didn’t have anything else to keep her mind busy, in just one week’s time she would be moving away for college – another subject she now had mixed feelings on. She had always been dead set on making a difference with her career, but now all she could think about was how much she was going to miss him while she was away. 

As she packed up some more of her belongings into suitcases and boxes her phone sprang to life with the lively text message tone; she quickly snatched it off of the bedside table and her heart jumped to see that it was a message from him. Lucille was going to be out of town at a conference for the next 2 days. The rest of the message wasn’t so much an invitation as it was an instruction – “bring a bag.” Bell put the phone down on the bed next to her and pretended to mull the decision over; she didn’t know why she was lying to herself, her mind was already there. 

** 

She had dressed modestly for the walk over to Negan’s house, never quite sure whether Lucille would be home when she arrived. She was glad she had, it was Lucille who answered the door. 

‘Bell, thank you so much for helping us out!’ As usual, Lucille was rushing around the house. ‘This conference came as a bit of a surprise. I wasn’t even supposed to be going, but…’ She paused for second before slipping into her shoes. ‘…You don’t need the details.’ Lucille shook her head as she searched the house for some other item. 

Bell placed her bag by the console table in the hallway and stood off to the side. She had learned by now to keep out of the way and just wait for the chaos to die down. 

‘Honey, are you ready?’ Lucille called up to her husband, his response was just his heavy footsteps sounding on the stairs. ‘We should only need you for a couple hours.’ Lucille’s attention went back to Bell. 

‘That’s fine.’

‘It’s a lovely day out, feel free to use the pool.’

‘Thanks.’ Bell looked down at her bag. Why not? She had packed her bikini. 

**

The hours passed by slowly. Bell had put Lucy to bed at 7pm and was enjoying the last of the day’s sun by the pool. The temperature was perfect and it didn’t take long for her to dose off, her book falling to the side onto the stone patio. Her subconscious swam with thoughts of him. She could almost feel the roughness of his hands on her stomach, thighs and then hips. She sleepily adjusted her position so that her legs fell slightly apart, and his touch moved down to the material of her bikini bottoms. 

‘I could be anyone…’

The gruff voice in her ear made her eyelids flutter open. She smiled up at him. ‘You’re back.’

‘Let’s go inside.’ He took her hand. ‘I’m sure you’ve given the neighbours enough of a show tonight.’ 

The hand on her lower back pushed her through the glass doors and into the kitchen. Bell watched as he drew the blinds closed – he was always so careful to protect himself. That thought didn’t last long, he took her face into his hands and kissed her deeply. 

‘God, I’ve missed you.’ 

Bell rested against the counter, awaiting his instruction, but this time was different. There were no instructions, no commands. Negan kissed her again, a little rougher than the first time, and lifted her off of the floor. Bell wrapped her legs around his waist to steady herself and enjoyed the feel of him so close to her as he carried her upstairs. 

Bell was surprised when he threw her down onto the bed – his bed. His and Lucille’s bed. She had never given the locations of their trysts much thought, not in terms of significance anyway, but she was surprised to be here. She tried not to look at the family photos on the dresser or the bedside cabinets, guilt didn’t mix well with lust. Instead she propped herself up on her elbows and watched as Negan worked her bikini bottoms down her legs; she followed his lead and pulled at the string of her bikini top to loosen and remove it. 

In moments her legs were spread wide beneath his large form and she could feel him entering her. She held onto his strong arms as he filled her up. He started slow, almost being gentle for once. Bell closed her eyes and enjoyed every single sensation coming from him – the stubble against her skin, his lips kissing at her neck, his hips pushing her thighs wide apart. 

One of Negan’s hands moved down to her thigh, pulling her a little wider. She let a whimper escape her lips and a hand trail down to her clit. She searched his eyes for some sort of permission – she took the absence of a “no” to mean “yes”. The mixture of her own light fingers against her most sensitive area and the fullness of his thrusting cock almost sent her over the edge. She arched her back and clenched her teeth. She didn’t want it to be over yet. Negan moved her hand out of the way and replaced her fingers with his thumb. Bell clutched onto the sheets as her orgasm ripped through her body. She muffled her screams into the pillow next to her, not wanting to wake the baby. 

Just as Bell was recovering Negan started to thrust harder. He placed his thumb over her lips and trailed his hand down to her shoulder, holding her firmly in place as he thrust into her for the last few times. 

Bell caught her breath and rolled her head to the side as she enjoyed the last few sensations of pleasure float away. Her eyes fluttered open and brought a happy family picture of Negan, Lucille and Lucy into view. She swallowed the guilt building in her gut and looked up at the handsome man above. 

‘You are so fucking beautiful.’ Negan swept the hair away from her eyes before rolling onto the bed next to her. 

Bell wanted to ask why he had brought her up here, up to the bed he shares with his wife. Was he trying to torture her with guilt? Show her what she could never have? Instead she rested her head on his chest and enjoyed being close to him.


	11. Chapter 11

Bell hadn’t been into the “main house” for a couple of weeks, but she couldn’t avoid her dad for much longer. He had insisted she not miss another family Sunday dinner. She sat quietly in the sitting room with her glass of wine, waiting to be called through for the meal. She planned to eat as quickly as possible and make a quick escape. 

‘You might want to slow down with that, sweetie.’ Tiffany nodded towards Bell’s half empty glass. 

‘I’m fine.’

‘You need to start taking care of yourself, your looks won’t last forever.’

‘At least I’ll have my personality to fall back on.’ Bell drained the glass and reached for the bottle on the coffee table, looking Tiffany in the eye the whole time. ‘Did I see you at school a couple of weeks ago?’

‘I don’t think…’ 

Bell smiled at the slight blush forming on her step-mother’s cheeks. ‘I’m sure I saw you coming out of coach Negan’s office…’

‘Trinity, honey, can you tell your father that dinner’s almost ready?’

The teen absentmindedly looked up from her phone. ‘Sure.’

‘I might have gone in to discuss Trinny’s progress…’

‘That’s not what it sounded like to me.’ Bell smiled as she took another sip of her drink. 

Tiffany took a cursory glance around before moving closer to Bell’s face. ‘Do you think your father is going to believe his troubled daughter, or do you think he’ll come down on my side?’ She snatched the bottle away from Bell just as she’d finished topping up her glass. 

The tension broke at the sound of the doorbell. 

‘I’ll get it.’ Bell pushed past Tiffany , overjoyed at the distraction before the urge to slap the smug look off of her face took over. She opened the door and did not expect him to be standing there – Apologetic half smile on his face and a bouquet of flowers in hand. ‘What the hell are you doing here, Jason?’

‘Hey, babe.’

Bell was completely dumbfounded; the only sensible action she could think of was to slam the door in his face. She strode back into the sitting room. ‘Did you invite him?’

‘Jason’s here?’ Tiffany stood up. 

‘Why would you do that?’

‘Because I care about you, and you’re not going to do any better.’ 

‘You don’t care about me, you want me to be miserable.’

‘Stop being so dramatic, you’re not a teenager anymore.’ Tiffany opened the door. ‘Jason, honey, come on in. I’m not sure what’s come over my daughter.’

Bell mentally corrected her use of the word “daughter” and skulked through to the dining room instead of screaming and forcibly removing her ex from the house – as if she could. She knew it was futile to argue with the step-monster. She would just have to suffer through dinner and hope for the best – the best possible outcome being that she would be too drunk to remember most of it. Bell opened the drinks cabinet and poured herself a large glass of gin before taking her place at the table. 

Dinner was excruciating. Bell remained silent for most of it, just giving grunts as replies whenever a question came her way. It annoyed her that her dad still liked Jason after everything he’d done. After all, what’s a little cheating indiscretion to a family full of cheaters? She reminded herself that she technically sat in that category with them. 

Bell pushed the dessert plate away, just looking at it made her feel queasy. ‘May I be excused?’ She felt like a disobedient teenager again. 

‘Of course.’ Tiffany smiled. ‘I’m sure you and Jason have plenty to catch up on.’

Bell faked a smile, it was incredibly unconvincing, and left through the patio doors. As she made her way around the pool towards the guest house she heard Jason’s fast footsteps follow behind. 

‘Hey, can we talk?’

‘I’ve listened to you talk all night.’

‘To them,’ he nodded towards the house, ‘I came here for you.’

Bell laughed and sat down on one of the garden benches. ‘Then talk.’

‘I feel so bad for what I did to you, too us…’ He paused for a reaction, but none came. ‘I can’t stop thinking about you, I need to put this right…’

‘You…’ Bell’s gaze snapped straight up at him. ‘This is all about you, what you want. What you need. Did you think about me?’

‘I love you.’

‘You don’t.’

‘You’re the best thing in my life!’

‘You should have thought about that!’ There were so many things she wanted to say to him, so many ways she wanted to chastise his actions, but all she could think about were her own indiscretions. She felt a lump in her throat and wished she hadn’t had so much to drink. ‘You can’t just go around cheating on people and then be surprised at the consequences.’ She looked down into her lap, Jason’s stare almost burned a hole right through her. 

‘You’re not just talking about me anymore are you?’ He knowingly laughed. ‘What did you do?’

‘You can’t just turn this around onto me!’

‘What did you do, Bluebell?’ Jason gripped her arm like a vice. ‘Or should I ask “who”?’

Bell wrenched her arm away and started walking towards the guest house. ‘I don’t know what you’re trying to imply…’

‘Yes you do…’

‘… Even if I did, it’s none of your concern. You’re not my boyfriend anymore.’

‘Why am I not surprised?’ He laughed in her face. ‘I should have known you’d fall back into bed with that man first chance you got.’ 

His grip had returned to her arm and his fingers tightened as she tried to pull away. ‘Jason, let go of me.’

‘Not until you admit it.’

Bell looked over his shoulder towards the house. She could call out for help, but something was stopping her. Her dad already thought she was “trouble” and Tiffany would find a way to turn this situation around on her, she knew it. 

‘Tell me.’ He pushed her back onto the wall of the guest house. Bell’s view of the house was now blocked by the shrubs. 

‘Fine.’ She looked up at him. ‘I did it.’

‘What did you do?’

Bell rolled her eyes and then winced as the pain in her arm intensified. ‘I fucked him. My ex-coach, the man I used to babysit for. I came back here and the first think I did, the first thing I wanted to do, was fuck him. Are you happy now?’ Bell was startled by the clacking sound of high heels on the patio, someone had heard. All she could see was a mass of blonde hair before the figure disappeared out of view. 

The distraction caused Jason’s grip to loosen somewhat and Bell quickly ducked into the guest house and locked the door behind her. She swiftly made her way through to the bathroom and rested her hands on the sink. Her face was flush from the argument (not to mention the alcohol) and her mascara had started to run down her cheeks. She kicked the cabinet below the sink, annoyed at how worked up he had got her. More annoyed at how he had made her feel like she was in the wrong. 

She cleaned the makeup off of her face and changed into her sweatpants and t-shirt before pouring herself a glass of water. As she rested against the countertop she heard a light knock on the door. Bell decided to ignore it, but the knock came again a few seconds later. 

‘What do you want now?’ Bell stopped mid-sentence at the sight of her little sister. 

‘I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.’ Trinity looked at her sweetly. 

‘Why wouldn’t I be?’ Bell let her sister in and sat down on the sofa. 

‘I heard you arguing with your boyfriend and…’

‘He’s not my boyfriend anymore.’ Bell snapped. ‘What did you hear?’

‘Nothing specific, we were inside.’

Bell stared at her sister. 

‘Mom went to see if you were okay.’

‘I’m fine.’ Bell sat silently and waited for Trinity to leave, which didn’t take too long. As soon as she was alone she reached for her phone and sent a text to Negan – “I need to see you”. She knew she shouldn’t have, but he needed to know that their secret was out. 

Moments later her phone lit up with an incoming call. She answered it quickly. 

‘What the fuck do you think you’re playing at?’

‘I know, I’m sorry…’

‘What’s so fucking important?’ His voice was low, almost a whisper. 

‘Tiffany knows…’ Bell gulped, she didn’t want to finish the sentence. She didn’t have to. 

‘You told your mom?’ Even through his hushed tone she could hear the disbelief in his voice. 

‘I didn’t… she overheard…’

‘You shouldn’t have told anyone… I’ve got to go.’

Bell listened as the call abruptly ended and threw the phone onto the coffee table. She placed her head in her hands and sighed. This night could not get any worse. 

‘I heard what you told him.’

Bell didn’t look up at Tiffany as she stood there next to her, she kept her face in her hands. 

‘How dare you judge me when…’ Tiffany stopped to compose herself. ‘How long has it been going on?’

‘A while.’

Tiffany tapped her foot and sighed. ‘It won’t end well.’ She almost sounded like she cared. 

‘I know.’

‘I won’t be seeing him again, I suggest you do the same.’

Bell waited, head still in hands, until the door closed behind Tiffany and she made her way back up the patio to the house. She checked her phone. One text. “I’m outside.” She slipped on her trainers and made her way out to the street. All of the downstairs lights were off in the house, which she was pleased about – everyone would be in bed. She spotted Negan’s car parked just down the street and quickened her pace towards it. She hopped in and avoided his icy gaze. 

‘It’s okay, it’s all… sorted.’ She wanted to use as few words as possible and that seemed like the best collection.

‘I know.’ He put his hand under her chin to make her look up at him. ‘I fucking “sorted” it.’

She could feel her heart pounding in her chest. Had he come here to tell her it was over? She felt distraught at the thought and then immediately felt stupid for how she felt. She reminded herself that he was married and that this “relationship” was nothing; nothing to him, at least. 

Negan kissed her deeply, his stubble scratching at her soft skin. She let her body fall closer to him and felt the familiar stirring between her legs. 

Placing his hand on the nape of her neck, he pulled her closer, and in that moment all there was in the world was him. The feeling lasted for a few seconds once he’d pulled away and when Bell did snap out of it she felt embarrassed about the stupid look that must have been on her face. 

‘I can’t stay mad at you for long.’

Bell opened her mouth to say something, but immediately snapped it shut before even the inking of a syllable made it out. 

‘I’ve got to get back home, I’ll see you tomorrow.’

The subtle reminder of his family made her chest tighten with jealousy and guilt. ‘See you tomorrow,’ she slowly slinked out of the car and watched as he drove off. 

**

Negan called Bell down to his office at 4.30. She often wondered whether anyone noticed how much time she spent with him. He may as well have his own assistant the amount of time she spent doing his “admin”. 

‘How can I help you?’ Bell leaned on the door frame and looked over seductively. 

‘Come in, close the door.’ Negan was sitting at his desk, he removed his glasses and watched as she walked in. The sight of her in her tight pencil skirt and her just ever so slightly inappropriately buttoned blouse made his cock twitch. 

Bell’s hips swayed as she made her way over to his desk. She held her arms behind her back, pushing her chest out and accentuating her cleavage. 

‘You know I don’t like to be teased, Miss Merriweather.’

‘I’m not sure what you mean…’ She bit her lip coyly and walked over to his side of the desk. She unbuttoned the rest of her blouse and pushed the garment off of her shoulders. ‘Is there anything I can help with?’ She looked down at the growing bulge in his pants. 

Before she knew what was happening he had her bent over his desk, her face firmly pressed into the cold wood. It was exactly what she’d hoped for. 

Negan unzipped the skirt and worked it off of her small frame. He smiled at the sight of her stockings and the absence of any panties. 

‘You can’t even dress yourself properly anymore?’ He playfully slapped her bottom. 

Bell bit her lip and gasped at the second, harder, slap that followed. ‘I had to take them off, sir.’

‘Why?’

Bell bit her lip and waited for the next slap before answering him. ‘I got so wet, thinking about you. All day.’

Negan kicked her legs apart and stroked at her soaked cunt before laying a slap between her legs. 

‘And what have you been thinking about?’

‘Your beautiful cock.’ She could almost hear the grin that spread across his face. 

‘And what have my “beautiful cock” and I been doing to you in your daydreams?’ 

Bell smiled at the sound of his zipper. ‘Fucking me.’

‘Not making love?’ 

‘Definitely not.’ Bell gripped at the edge of the desk in anticipation. She felt the head of his cock enter her. He held it there, stretching her, teasing her. She tried to move her hips back, to take more if him inside, but he held her in place with one firm hand. 

‘Be patient, Miss Merriweather.’

‘But…’ She whined like an impudent child. 

Negan slapped her ass in response, but this time it stung a little more. ‘What do good girls say?’

‘Please?’ She felt another slap, and quickly corrected herself. ‘Please, sir.’

At that he stroked the rest of his length into her. Bell held her breath, and did just about everything else to stop herself from cumming right away. 

‘Does that feel good?’

‘Yes… Yes, sir.’ She held herself steady as he continued to move in and out. He gripped firmly onto her neck and this only added to the pleasure she was already feeling. 

‘I wonder whether your co-workers know what a slut you are.’

‘I’m only a slut for you, sir.’ Bell desperately wanted to run her fingers over her clit, but she kept them firmly on the desk. ‘I’m yours.’

‘Yes, you are.’ His pace had picked up and Bell could feel herself start to contract around his thrusting cock. ‘Don’t you dare…’

Bell screwed her eyes closed and did everything she could to control herself. She could feel her own wetness start to run down her inner thigh. ‘Please…’

‘Ask properly and I’ll think about it.’

Bell swallowed hard, tried to compose herself and caught her breath. ‘Please,’ the long, hard thrusts jumbled the words in her head. ‘Please… sir… may I come?’

He held her hips in place as he trust into her the last few times. ‘Since you asked so nicely…’ Bell needed no other encouragement. She gripped at the desk more firmly and felt herself clench around him. As the waves of pleasure rippled through her all she could see were stars. 

She pulled her skirt back up over her hips and looked around for her discarded blouse. Negan smiled, holding the item of clothing out for her. She went to slip the blouse back of her arms when Negan grabbed at her wrist, preventing her. 

‘What happened?’ He looked at the bruising on her arm. 

‘It’s nothing.’ She could see the look of concern in his face, something she didn’t see too often. ‘It…’ she couldn’t find the words. ‘It’s nothing.’

‘That’s not “nothing”. Who did that to you?’

‘Jason, my ex…’ Bell should have told him the whole story last night, she regretted keeping this from him. ‘Tiffany invited him for dinner, we got in a… heated discussion.’

‘He touched you. He hurt you.’

‘It’s nothing.’ Bell buttoned the blouse. ‘I made it clear I want nothing to do with him. He’s probably already back in DC.’ She could see the quiet rage. She didn’t know whether it was because she had kept this from him, whether it was because another man had had their hands on his “property”, or whether he genuinely cared for her. 

‘If I ever see him…’

‘You won’t.’ She really, really hoped he wouldn’t.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter set in the past.

*Then*

Bell packed her belongings into the bag she’d brought with her 2 days ago, she couldn’t believe it was over so quickly. She had got to spend 2 nights with the man of her dreams and she didn’t want it to end. She kept praying for Lucille’s flight to be delayed or for her to need to go straight into work. 

‘What time does her flight get in?’ Bell couldn’t bring herself to say Lucille’s name out loud and she hadn’t spoken a word about her since she’d left for the airport. 

‘She should be landing within the next hour.’

Bell nodded and checked the spare room to make sure she hadn’t left any evidence of her stay. ‘I suppose I’d best get going then.’ She turned to Negan, his face was sombre. She was surprised, was he as sad as her that they didn’t have more time?

‘Yeah, you should.’ He checked his watch again. 

‘Hey, I’ve been thinking…’ Bell sat down next to Negan and put her head on his shoulder, he quickly stood up and moved away from her.

‘What have you been thinking, Bluebell?’

She looked down at her feet, unsure whether she should finish her thought or just leave him in peace. 

‘Spit it out.’ The impatience showed on his face. 

‘It’s silly.’ Bell’s voice was now small and timid. ‘I was just… I don’t have to go all the way to California… for school.’ She watched his face for a reaction, nothing. ‘I got accepted to state, too…’

‘Why would you stay?’

She wanted to scream at him, he knew why she wanted to stay. What other reason could there possibly be for staying, other than him? In her head it sounded so reasonable, it made so much sense. ‘I just thought… It might be nice…’

‘For me?’ His lips had curved up into a smile, and not an “aww, shucks, for me?” smile. More of an “I can’t believe how much of an idiot you are” smile.

All Bell could do was nod and look down at her feet. She hated how he could make her feel this way, so insignificant and like she was going crazy for thinking he would want to see her, too. 

‘Don’t be stupid, Bluebell.’

She felt her face getting hotter and her eyes began to moisten. She didn’t want to cry in front of him, especially when he was being like this. 

‘I told you not to get attached…’

‘I know… I’m not.’ She picked up her bag. ‘It was just… you’re right, it was stupid. I’ll see you later.’ She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek before leaving. He didn’t try to stop her, he didn’t say goodbye and he didn’t confirm or deny whether she would indeed “see him later”. 

**

The days passed without any word from Negan. Bell now had just one more night until she left for college. She didn’t want to leave without seeing him, but she was painfully aware that the decision was not hers to make. She turned her phone over in her hand, toying with the idea of calling or texting. She could just send a casual text, right? 

Suddenly her phone sprang to life, it was as if she had willed it to, but it wasn’t Negan. Lucille needed her to watch Lucy. For fleeting moment she wondered what Lucille would do without her and whether they would find another babysitter so willing to drop everything, but that was before she reminded herself that Lucille would have a faithful husband without her. 

**

When Bell arrived at the house Lucille was in as much of a rush as usual. 

‘You are a lifesaver, honey.’ 

‘It’s no problem. What time do you need me until?’ A nice, subtle way of gauging when Negan would be home. 

‘Um, well I won’t be back ‘til morning now…’

‘I leave for college tomorrow.’

‘Of course you do, are you excited?’ Lucille flashed her one of her broad smiles. 

‘Yeah, mostly nervous.’

‘You’ll be fine, it’ll be the best years of your life.’ Lucille picked up her car keys and headed towards the door. ‘Negan should be home by 11.’

‘Does he know I’m here?’ She regretted the question as soon as it had exited her mouth, she prayed that Lucille wouldn’t think it too weird a question. 

‘I’ll call him on the way to the hospital, let him know he can’t be too late.’

**

11pm had been and gone, it was nearer to 12 when the front door opened. Bell turned her attention to the TV, pretending not to have heard him come in. She didn’t know how he would be, whether he’d be happy to see her. She listened as he made his way to the kitchen and opened the fridge for, what she assumed was, a beer. He pottered around in there for a few minutes before entering the living room. 

‘You’re still here?’ He looked down at her, decidedly not pleased to see her. 

‘I can go now you’re back.’ She stood to leave. She wanted to ask why he was being like this, she wanted to know what had changed. Had she done something? ‘I leave tomorrow.’ – That was all that would come out of her mouth.

‘I’ll miss you, Bluebell.’

She was a little taken aback by his declaration. ‘You wanted me to leave…’

‘I didn’t want you thinking this was more than it is. I thought I’d been clear…’

She thought about making a move, see whether he would want her just one last time. But it was late and she couldn’t take any more rejection, she already felt like a complete idiot around him – never quite sure how to read the situation.

‘Crystal.’ Bell grabbed her bag. ‘See, this is me not thinking this is more than it is.’ She flashed him a sullen smile, truly showing her young age, before turning to leave. 

Negan grabbed her arm before she could take a step towards the door and pulled her in for a kiss. His lips roughly met hers and Bell almost let herself fall into his arms. Instead she felt a fire in her belly and pushed him away. He immediately pulled her back in for the kiss, holding her close to his body so she had no choice but to respond to him. The fire inside started to melt away and she half-chastised herself for being so weak. Just as she had settled into the kiss he let her go and bent her over the back of the sofa. His hand rested on her lower back, keeping her in position. 

‘You don’t speak to me that way, sweetheart.’ He kicked at her feet, spreading them apart a little more and removed his hand from her back. Bell froze, unsure whether she wanted him to continue or whether she should run out of the door as quickly as her legs would carry her. ‘Is this what you wanted?’

She opened her mouth to give an answer, but faltered when she felt his hand trace up her bare thigh and under her skirt. He grazed a knuckle against her panty-covered pussy and felt the wetness that had already started to form. Bell’s cheeks reddened with embarrassment, although she wasn’t sure why – he’d had her much more compromising positions than this before now. 

‘I guess I don’t really need you to answer that, do I?’ His fingers had now found her clit and Bell was using all of the strength she had to keep herself steady. Her head had gone fuzzy, the only clear thought she had was that she didn’t want him to stop touching her. She rocked her hips to feel more of his touch, but he quickly whipped his hand away. 

‘No…’ Bell whined and twisted her head to see where he’d gone. She faced forward again once she’d caught sight of him unbuttoning his jeans. The next thing she felt was a sharp smack on her ass, she winced but didn’t make a noise. Another followed, and another. Bell felt herself becoming wetter with each strike and she wanted nothing more than for him to ram his cock deep inside her.

Negan stroked the length of his cock across Bell’s slit, coating himself in her wetness. ‘Tell me where you want it.’ He placed his hand on her hip and continued to tease her. 

Bell’s mouth was dry and she could barely form a thought let alone a response.

Negan dipped a finger in her pussy and she let out a moan; there – she wanted to tell him she wanted it there!

‘I’ll decide for you…’ He drew his wet fingers up to her tight asshole. The feeling was similar to before and Bell let herself adjust to the sensation, remembering how good it had felt when he’d touched her there that one time before. He removed his fingers after a few minutes and replaced them with the head of his cock. 

Bell’s eyes widened. ‘N… No.’ She tried to move forward, forgetting that she was pinned in place by the sofa. ‘You’re too big… it won’t fit.’

‘Shh.’ He stroked her back and eased himself inside. 

Bell screwed her eyes shut, at first all she could feel was pain.

‘You need to relax.’ He continued to stroke her back as he worked his cock in and out in slow motions. 

Bell loosened her grip on the sofa and soon the discomfort was replaced with pleasure. She hadn’t expected to be enjoying this; she could feel her wetness dripping down her thigh and she had to bite her lip to sustain a moan, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of her enjoyment. His hand was no longer stroking gently at her back, he had moved it back onto her hip to hold her in place. Not that he needed to, she was all his in that moment. 

‘Do you like that, sweetheart?’ He grunted as his thrusts became firmer. Bell couldn’t help but let a moan out as his rhythm picked up. 

Bell nodded and a verbal, yet nonsensical, confirmation did pass her lips. 

‘Tell me how much.’

‘So… good…’ She rested her head, desperate to touch her dripping cunt but fully aware that she hadn’t had permission to do that. 

‘Tell me how much of a slut you are.’ He slapped her ass along with his next long thrust. ‘Tell me how much you enjoy having a cock up your ass and maybe I’ll let you play with your needy little pussy.’

Bell’s head swam with exclamations, but she couldn’t get a single one out of her mouth. All she could do was hold herself in position to be used for his pleasure. 

Negan continued his assault and smiled at the broken mess in front of him. He knew he was close and couldn’t keep this up much longer, just the sight of her made his balls tighten. When he realised she was in no state to follow any instruction he moved his free hand down to her pussy and matched the thrusts from his cock with two of his thick fingers as his thumb rubbed at her engorged clit. 

‘Come for me, sweetheart.’ 

Bell needed no other instruction. She let out a throaty moan as her whole body convulsed from the pleasure. She whined as his cock left her ass and she felt a mixture of her own wetness and his seed dribble down her leg. The moment Negan’s hand left her hip she collapsed on the floor. As the pleasure fluttered away the feeling of shame set in, and the grin on his face did not help. 

That was their last encounter until their paths crossed again a few years later.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long gap between this update and the last! Work has been hell. 
> 
> All future chapters will take place in the present.

Bell slipped her feet back into her shoes and buttoned the rest of her shirt. She playfully held her panties out with one finger. ‘Can I put these back on, sir?’ She bit her bottom lip. 

Negan took them from her and slipped them into one of his desk drawers. 

‘I won’t have any left if you’re not careful!’

‘Maybe that’s my plan.’

Bell’s heart fluttered at his wicked grin as she tried to make her hair look presentable and less like she’d just been fucked for 15 minutes over the school coach’s desk. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard a firm knock on the door. She looked over at Negan before quickly opening the door before the person on the other side realised it was locked. 

‘Lucille, hi!’ Bell beamed, worried she was overcompensating and equally as worried that she was coming off as guilty as sin.

‘Hey, Bell. How are you?’ Lucille didn’t have her usual broad smile, she didn’t look herself at all. 

‘Looking forward to the weekend as always,’ she lied. She hated the weekends most of all, it was the time of the week that the reality of her relationship with Negan hit her – he spent the whole weekend with his family and she spent it at home bored out of her mind. ‘How are you?’

Lucille shrugged and looked past Bell toward her Negan. ‘Mind if I have a moment with my husband?’

‘Of course, I was just leaving.’ Bell turned to Negan, he had the best poker face. There wasn’t an ounce of guilt on his face of anywhere near his being. ‘Let me know if I’ve forgotten anything.’

She swiftly left the office and closed the door behind her. She desperately wanted to know what they were talking about, but the walls were too thick and their voices were too quite. She decided to head straight back up to the admin office, worried it would look very strange if she was still hanging around out there when Lucille left. 

The next 2 hours passed excruciatingly slowly as Bell imagined all of the possible scenarios for Lucille visiting her husband at work. She had been working here for months now and she hadn’t ever seen Lucille set foot in the building before, it was this that led her to believe they were having some sort of serious discussion. She managed to placate herself by convincing herself that if Lucille did know about them, she would have confronted her then and there. 

**

Bell found herself in the bar by 7pm, she had been checking her phone every 5 minutes for the last 4 hours, but no word from Negan. She couldn’t bear to sit at home in the quiet, so she had made her way here. She was 2 vodka sodas in and she couldn’t have felt more like a loser if she tried – drinking alone in a bar on a Friday, pining after a guy. She sipped down the remnants of her glass and gestured to the bartender for another and checked her phone for the umpteenth time. Her heart caught in her throat – there was a message from Negan: “It’s over. Don’t reply to this.” She couldn’t help but let her jaw fall open a little. At first she felt like bursting into tears, but a millisecond later she just felt incensed! 

She stared at the two short sentences and tapped her fingers on the bar. He was so cold, he had no thought for her feelings. There was no explanation, she deserved a fucking explanation! And that is exactly what her fingers started to ask for – she went on auto pilot as she typed an enraged response to his instructions. She hovered over the “send” button and read over her rambling response. This infuriated her more than his original message – the fact that a short message from him could turn her into someone who would think about sending this! She deleted her response and threw the phone into her bag before taking a big gulp of her drink and closing her eyes to calm herself. 

‘Drinking alone?’

She almost choked on her drink, but managed to swallow the liquid without spitting it everywhere. ‘Not if you join me, Officer Walsh.’ She managed a half-sultry smile, a far cry from the manic look she imagined she must have had moments before. 

He ordered them some drinks and sat on the stool next to her. ‘What’s a girl like you doing alone in a place like this?’

‘Drinking away my woes.’ She held up her vodka and smiled, trying to sound cheerful. ‘Everyone I know is busy tonight, and I really didn’t want to sit in on a Friday night like a loser. So I came here to sit at the bar alone, like a loser.’

‘You couldn’t be a loser if you tried.’

She instantly felt warm inside and quietly wondered why she’d never gone out with him, he had asked after all. She immediately chastised herself, she knew why she’d never been out with him; she would rather be in a toxic affair with her ex high school gym teacher/ coach than give herself the option of having a normal healthy relationship. 

‘Something on your mind?’ 

‘No. Just… Stressful day at work.’

‘All that school paperwork…’

Bell laughed and shook her head. ‘Sorry, I know it’s nothing compared to how stressful your job must be.’

She managed to keep the conversation focussed on Shane for the next few drinks, and it was actually taking her mind off of her current situation. The more she got to know him, the more she liked him. As the evening drew on they were laughing and getting closer and closer. 

‘I have been talking about myself all night, you must be bored out of your mind.’

‘No, I like the sound of your voice.’ She looked down at her glass and smiled. ‘I could listen to you talk all night.’

Shane placed two fingers under her chin and lifted her face to eye level. ‘I think you might just be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on…’

Bell felt her heart flutter and any response that was forming in her head just got caught in her throat. She leaned closer to him, their lips just centimetres apart. 

‘Wait.’ Bell winced and moved her head back away from him. She felt like an idiot the moment the word came out of her mouth. 

‘I’m sorry…’ He looked confused and embarrassed. ‘I must’ve read that wrong…’

‘No, you read it right. Incredibly right.’ She closed her eyes. She didn’t just want to fall in bed with him because she was angry with him-who-shall-not-be-named-right-now. She wanted it to be for the right reasons. ‘I like you.’

‘But?’

‘There’s no but, I like you.’ She tapped her fingers on the bar. ‘Okay there is a but, but it’s not the but you think it is!’ She cringed at how Dr Seuss she sounded. 

‘Okay..?’ 

‘I’ve just stopped seeing someone.’ She hadn’t wanted to bring this up, she didn’t even way to think about it. ‘I don’t want to just… I really like you.’ The inability to articulate her thoughts and feelings was alien to Bell, but when you’re god-knows-how-many drinks in and you’re trying to conceal a dirty secret, it is very difficult to find the words without giving anything away. ‘Can I cook you dinner next Friday night?’

‘I’d like that.’

‘Good.’ She stood up from the bar. ‘Now I’m going to go home before you see any more of drunk-Bell and change your mind.’ She kissed him on the cheek and made her way home before she embarrassed herself any more.


	14. Chapter 14

Bell sipped down the last of her wine and set the glass down on the counter. She mentally checked that she had done everything for dinner and absentmindedly filled up her glass before placing the half empty bottle back into the fridge. She had agonised for far too long (longer than she’d like to admit) over what to wear; she had decided to keep it simple with a green, cotton slip dress and an off-white cardigan – to look at her, it looked like she’d just thrown something on rather than carefully planned it. She wore her hair loose around her shoulders and had kept the makeup to a minimum, reminding herself that she wasn’t actually going anywhere. 

She was relieved when she heard a knock at her door, she was just moments away from changing into something else as she started to second-guess everything she’d planned. 

‘Hi.’ She quickly kissed Shane on the cheek as she let him in. She was pleased to see that he’d come fairly casual, too – jeans and t-shirt (it was like his other uniform). 

Shane handed her a bottle of wine as he followed her into the small living area. ‘It smells great.’

‘Thanks.’ Bell hurried back to the kitchen to remove the food from the oven. ‘I wasn’t sure whether you were a picky eater, I hope you like moussaka.’ She scolded herself for not bothering to ask in advance. 

‘Sounds great.’

Bell placed the hot dish onto a heat proof pad and hung the oven gloves back up. ‘We’ll have to wait a bit, it’ll be like molten lava right now.’ Bell took a nervous gulp of her drink, which reminded her to be a better host. ‘Beer?’ She reached into the fridge and handed Shane the cold bottle. ‘How’s your day been?’

She was relieved when Shane gave her the long version of his day. She hated awkward silences and she had been so focussed on getting the food ready that her energy was a little lower than she would have liked, added to the fact that she was feeling extremely nervous and self-conscious. She listened intently to the details of his day – call-outs he’d attended and some routine traffic stops. From there the conversation flowed easily, Bell loosened up and the food had turned out perfectly – in her opinion. 

‘That was amazing.’

‘Thanks.’ She placed the dishes in the sink and replaced Shane’s beer.

‘Where did you learn to cook like that?’

‘My mom lived in Greece for a few years, husband number three was Greek.’ Bell moved over onto the sofa and took another sip of her wine. ‘The recipe was her mother-in-law’s. I think it was the best thing to come out of that marriage.’

‘Did you ever live there? In Greece?’ Shane put his beer on the table and turned his body to face Bell.

‘No, unfortunately not. I visited a lot, though.’ She had some great memories from the summers she’d spent in Greece

‘Where’s your mom now?’

‘New Zealand. With husband number five.’

‘Okay…’

She wondered whether it was too soon into whatever this was to let on how dysfunctional her family situation actually was. ‘She’s a free spirit…’ Bell racked her brain trying to think of a new topic to move onto. ‘Are you close with your parents?’ 

‘Yeah, they live here in town.’

Bell had to stop herself from pointing out that closeness in proximity was not what she meant, but she gagged herself with another sip from her glass. 

‘It must be nice to have the best of both worlds.’ He nodded in the direction of the main house.

All she could muster was an unenthusiastic head-nod, which Shane saw right through. ‘Let’s just say there’s a reason I live out here. I think I disappointed them at some point along the way…’

‘I can’t imagine you being a disappointment to anyone.’ He leaned in close to her and placed his hand on her cheek and waited a moment before letting their lips touch. 

Bell didn’t immediately relax into the kiss, but she didn’t pull away either. She let her lips just rest against his for a moment before leaning in closer. He stroked his hand through her hair as he pulled her in even closer. She could feel her cheeks begin to flush and her stomach did somersaults each time his hand moved: first down to her neck and then her back and then onto her hip. Bell followed his lead and straddled his lap, enjoying the way his hand stroked over her hip and her lower back. 

She would have been happy for that kiss to last for the rest of her life; his whole presence was intoxicating to her. Shane pulled away from the kiss and she smiled at the slight blush to his complexion.

‘Tell me if I’m moving too fast…’

Her only response was to resume the kiss. 

Shane stroked his hand up Bell’s arm, causing her cardigan to fall off of her shoulder; she happily removed the rest of the garment, shifting in his lap slightly as she did so. She smiled to herself as she felt that familiar sensation of a bulge growing in his pants. His hand had now moved over the curve of her ass and his fingertips were resting just below the hem of her dress, she wiggled her ass a little to show she was happy for him to continue. Bell let out a moan as his finger traced over the crotch of her underwear; she almost held her breath as he stroked over her clit and couldn’t help but tense her thighs and hold onto him. He continued his gentle petting and Bell focussed her attentions (as best she could) on unbuckling his belt. 

Bell moved her panties to one side and positioned the tip of his cock at her entrance. His hand rested gently on her hip as she lowered herself onto him. He let his head rest on the back of the sofa as he enjoyed the feeling of being enveloped in her folds. Bell let herself adjust to the fullness before slowly moving back up and then back down. She steadied herself by holding onto his upper arm and was momentarily distracted by the feeling of the muscles beneath his t-shirt before impulsively removing the item so she could fully appreciate his form. She traced her hand over his muscles as she felt the pressure begin to build in her womanhood. His hand remained on her hip, gently keeping her in place, while his other hand moved down to her clit. Bell bit her lip and tilted her head back, she rode him a little faster knowing that she was close. She felt all of her blood rush to her head and buried her face into his shoulder as she felt the waves of her orgasm roll over her body. Shane bucked his hips up to thrust into her a few last times before he was spent. 

Shane tilted her face up with his thumb on her chin and stroked the hairs away from her dewy face. He kissed her softly and for the first time in a long time she didn’t feel any shame about what she had just done.


	15. Chapter 15

‘I don’t know how you can watch them…’ Shane put his arm around Bell’s shoulder; apparently he wasn’t fond of horror movies. 

‘Aw, do you find them to scary?’ Bell smiled as she poked fun at her boyfriend. They had been seeing each other for a few weeks and it hadn’t taken Shane long before he wanted to put a label on their relationship. She’d always told herself that labels were pointless, but she was surprised at how comfortable it made her knowing that she was his and he was hers – and only hers. ‘I like anything that gets my heart racing…’

‘I know you do.’ He kissed the side of her head. 

‘I guess you get enough excitement in your day job. The most exciting thing to happen to me this week was when Jasper from IT installed my software updates. I have to get my thrills elsewhere.’ Bell sipped down the last of her drink. ‘Do you want another?’

‘I’ll get them…’

She grabbed his arm playfully. ‘We’ve talked about this, you got the first round. Let me.’ She gave him no other option as she hopped out of the booth and strode over to the bar. She managed to wedge herself into a spot near the front and waited patiently for her turn – in reality it would have been easier to just let Shane go, he usually got served right away. 

‘I see you’ve moved on quickly…’

The dopey smile on Bell’s face was quickly wiped away by the familiar tone. She kept her eyes forward and pretended that she hadn’t heard him. 

‘You just ignoring me now?’ His body pressed into her back as the other patrons jostled around the bar. 

‘I thought that’s what I was supposed to do…’ She flashed him half a look before turning her head back toward the bar and ordering the drinks – she managed to get the words out quickly and clearly, despite how foggy her head felt in that moment. Bell felt Negan’s hand rest gently on her hip as he pulled her body back against his. She had hoped that this power he’d had over her had waned.

‘I bet if I asked you’d send that deputy running in a heartbeat…’ 

She could feel his lips just inches away from her neck, her breath hitched in her throat as she tried to think of a response. The appearance of her drinks order snapped her back to reality; she grabbed the glasses from the bar, swiftly turned around and started her walk back over to the booth. ‘Say “hi” to Lucille for me.’ Bell tried to shake off the effect the short encounter had had on her before she got back to Shane. 

‘You okay?’

Apparently she wasn’t entirely successful. ‘Yeah, just a little tired.’ She slid back into the booth next to Shane. ‘Do you mind if we give the movie a miss tonight?’

‘Of course not, you sure you’re okay?’

‘I just need to catch up on my sleep.’ She was certain she would be poor company for the rest of the evening and she didn’t want Shane to think it was something he’d done. 

**

Bell looked over at the clock on her night stand – 12:03. She had been lying in bed for over 2 hours just staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep. She turned over in the futile hope she would magically clear her head and get a good night’s sleep. Any possibility of that was thwarted when she heard three heavy knocks on her door. 

Against her better judgement she went to answer the door, and wished she hadn’t. Negan leaned against the door frame, half-drunk and with an expression on his face she’d never seen before. 

‘Do you know what time it is?’

‘May I come in… please?’ 

She weighed up her options and decided it was best to let him in before anyone saw him there. She stepped aside and wrinkled her nose at the smell – a mixture of beer and bourbon. 

‘What do you want?’ She closed the door and remained standing as he sat with his head in his hands. 

‘She’s sick.’

Bell waited a moment for him to finish his sentence. ‘Who…’

‘Lucille. She’s sick.’

She had no idea what to say, no idea what he wanted her to say – whether he wanted her to say anything at all. ‘I’m sorry…’

‘Why are you sorry?’ He flashed her a look, a look she’d never seen before. He looked terrified. 

Bell walked over to the kitchen and put the coffee machine on. ‘I’m sorry she’s sick, I like Lucille…’

‘After what we’ve done?’ He laughed at her. ‘Yeah, you must like her a lot…’

Bell slammed the coffee mug she’d been holding onto the counter. ‘By that logic you must not like her very much either.’ She regretted the words immediately; this was not the time for a logical conversation. 

In a moment he was next to her in the kitchen with his hand on her arm. ‘Don’t you ever say I don’t love my wife!’

‘I’m sorry,’ she tried to squirm out of his grip, but to no avail. ‘Negan, let go of me.’ She tried to sound strong, but her voice faltered.

He let go of her arm and pushed her back into the counter. His lips were inches from hers and she was wedged firmly between him and the kitchen surface. ‘I’ve missed you so much.’ He brushed the hair away from the side of her face. ‘My little Bluebell…’

Bell turned her face away from his; it was the only move she could make to distance her lips from his. He was too strong for her to move him out of the way. 

‘I know you’ve missed me too…’

‘Stop…’

‘You say “stop”, but you mean the opposite.’ He turned her face back towards his and kissed her, lightly at first and then more firmly. 

Bell snapped herself back to reality and pushed him back with all of the strength she had. ‘You can’t do this; you don’t get to do this.’ She choked down her tears; there was no way he was going to see her cry. ‘You threw me away, like I was nothing; like I meant nothing.’ She shook her head. ‘I know it was stupid to think you felt something for me, like what we were doing was more than just…’

‘I didn’t realise how much I needed you.’ He stepped towards her.

‘You don’t need me, you don’t want me; you just don’t want anyone else to have me. The only thing you realised tonight is that I don’t need you.’

She had expected him to be hurt at her comments, but instead he laughed. ‘Sweetheart, if you didn’t want me here you wouldn’t have let me in.’ His lips were on hers again and he trailed his hand over her lower back and up the side of her camisole. 

Bell’s head swam. In that moment all she wanted was him. She reciprocated the kiss and held onto his upper arm. Negan lifted her up onto the kitchen island and stroked the straps of her top off of her shoulders as he continued to kiss her. 

Bell closed her eyes and tilted her head as his kissed moved down to her neck. She opened her eyes and focussed on the flowers Shane had given to her earlier that night. She pushed him away and slid off of the counter. 

‘I can’t... I have someone that actually cares about me.’

‘The cop?’ He almost rolled his eyes. 

‘He’s a good man.’

‘They always are, to begin with.’

‘I guess you’d know…’

‘You’re too good for him, Bluebell. He can’t please you like I can.’

‘I’m too good for him, but not too good to be used by you?’ She picked his jacket up from the sofa and threw it at him. ‘Get out.’ 

‘Bell…’

She opened the front door. ‘Go home to your sick wife. She needs you.’ 

She watched silently as he left; she hadn’t expected him to go so easily. The moment he was gone she locked the door and slid down to the floor, she had come so close to just giving in to him and she hated how weak he made her feel.


	16. Chapter 16

‘You asked for these?’ Bell stood in the doorway to Negan’s office with a box of files. 

‘Just put them here.’ He gestured to the cabinet next to his desk. 

It had been over a week since the incident in her kitchen. She had seen him since then, but they hadn’t been alone together and they certainly hadn’t spoken. She nervously placed the box next to the cabinet and swiftly made her way back towards the door. 

‘I see you’ve already started to dress like a frigid policeman’s wife.’ The words came out in a disdainful tone and Bell’s first instinct was to just leave his office without a word. 

‘You don’t like it?’ She put her hand on her hip in a mock-model-pose to show off the cropped black trousers, loose fitting blue blouse and flat pumps. 

‘It’s not you…’

‘No, it’s not for you…’

‘I wasn’t finished.’ His voice didn’t get any louder, but he had a certain tone that startled Bell into silence. ‘It’s not you, but you still look sexy as hell.’ Negan stood up from his desk and made his way into the middle of the room. 

Bell swallowed, she thought about just walking out of the office – in reality it shouldn’t have been that difficult, the door was right there, but she couldn’t move. She hated this power he had over her; it had been easy enough to say “no” to him when he was a drunken fool, but his presence was on point this afternoon. 

He stood behind her and locked the door before moving her hair away from her shoulder and placing one hand on her hip. He smiled when there wasn’t even the slightest flinch or sign that she might turn around and push him away. 

Bell knew she should have just turned around and walked out of the room, all she had to do was move her feet. Instead all she could muster was one quiet word: ‘stop,’ and it wasn’t convincing in the slightest. 

‘You’re so beautiful.’ He kissed her neck and unbuttoned the top three buttons of her blouse and grazed his thumb over the top of her cleavage. 

Bell kept her eyes forward, because she couldn’t see him it was almost as if it wasn’t really happening. 

‘Tell me,’ he moved his mouth away from her neck. ‘Why did you really come down here today?’

‘You wanted those…’

‘And why did you have to bring them?’

She could feel him grinning behind her. 

‘I…’

‘You could have sent the new girl.’

He was right, of course. They had a trainee in the office. ‘She’s busy…’ she lied, she’d felt a pang of jealousy at the thought of him deciding to move onto someone else – even if she was pretty sure it wouldn’t be the new girl in her office (she wasn’t his type). 

He cupped her breast and squeezed. ‘I’m sure you had no desire to come down here to see me…’

‘I didn’t.’

Negan unbuttoned the rest of her blouse and rested his hand on the waistband of her trousers before undoing the button and then the zipper. He smiled as soon as his finger trailed down to her folds. ‘Do you still want me to stop?’ 

Bell couldn’t make any words come out of her mouth, the only sound she could make was a soft moan as he trailed his now wet finger up her slit and over her clit. 

‘You think you’re not mine…’ He picked up his pace. ‘You’ll always be mine, even when you don’t want me. Even when I’m done with you.’

Bell screwed her eyes closed as he brought her closer to orgasm.

‘Don’t you fucking dare cum without my permission.’ He squeezed her nipple and smiled as she winced. ‘You have to tell me first…’

Bell shook her head.

‘I already know, sweetheart. Look how easy it is for me to turn you into a submissive little slut. I just need to hear you say it.’

She rested her head back on his chest and bit her lip. Just 2 words, that’s all he wanted from her. 

‘Come on, princess. Say it and you can cum all over my fingers.’ He kissed her neck. ‘I might even give you one last pity fuck before I send you back to your pathetic boyfriend…’

Bell grabbed his hand and removed it from between her legs. She hit as his chest and wiped the tears from her eyes. ‘I’m not yours.’

He laughed and looked her up and down. 

‘I don’t want you.’ She took a step back and fastened her buttons. 

‘Say it again, sweetheart. This time like you mean it.’

‘Why are you doing this to me?’ She checked that her shirt wasn’t crooked. ‘You said it was over… You didn’t want me anymore!’ 

‘But you still want me, don’t you?’

‘Why can’t you let me be happy?’

‘He’ll never make you happy, he doesn’t know you like I do.’

Bell couldn’t bear to look at his smug face any longer. He was right, of course, no one did know her quite like he did. Clumsily, she pushed past him, unlocked the door and made her way back up to her office before taking a detour to the bathroom. She couldn’t stop the tears from flowing out of her eyes as she thought about how her body had betrayed her and how she had betrayed Shane. 

She felt her phone buzz in her pocket and the message on screen did nothing to make her feel better. From Shane: “Can’t wait to see you later, beautiful.” She shoved the phone back into her pocket and braced herself against the basin. She knew there was no way she could face him; she sent a message back to cancel their plans, left work early and took herself home to hide under her bed.

**

Bell stared at the TV screen, completely absorbed by the reality show on her screen. The made up drama was a welcome distraction from her own dysfunctional life. She must have been sat there a good few hours, unsure whether she’d moved since she had come in from work. 

The knock on her door startled her back to reality and for a moment she thought she might pretend she wasn’t home. At the second knock she trudged over and opened the front door. At first sight she was pleased to see Shane; that was until she remembered why she’d cancelled their plans in the first place. The shame came back to her and she could feel the blood drain from her face. 

‘I thought you might want some soup.’ He held up the to-go container and walked into the main living area of the guest house. ‘Do you want me to heat it up for you?’

‘I’m not hungry.’ She watched as he familiarly went into her kitchen to store the food in the fridge. She had no idea what to do, what to say, how to act. She wanted to put her arms around him and pretend that the incident from earlier had just been a bad dream. She wanted to tell him about what had happened earlier, to get it all out in the open so that he could decide to either, leave and never see her again, or to forgive her. 

‘You look really out of it, do you want me to take you to the hospital?’

She shook her head, worried about what might come out of her mouth if she tried to speak. 

‘Have you got a fever?’

‘I…’ The words caught in her throat. She wanted to be able to pretend that nothing had happened, but she just couldn’t. She knew that the longer she kept it to herself the more of a betrayal it would become. ‘You’re too good…’

‘… I just brought you soup.’ He smiled, amused at how the “fever” was making her act.

‘You’re too good for me, I don’t deserve you…’

‘Bell…’ He stepped towards her to put his arms around her, but she just moved back. 

‘I mean it.’

‘What’s brought this on?’

‘I saw my ex today… at work.’

‘Jason?’

Bell looked down at her feet, she wanted to tell him the truth but she didn’t want to have to live with how he would look at her if he knew the full truth. If he knew about him and what she let him do to her – over and over again. 

‘What was Jason doing in town, I thought he lived in DC?’

‘A different ex, someone I used to see before Jason.’ She sat down on the sofa and put her head in her hands. 

‘What happened?’

‘He kissed me…’ She didn’t know how else to put it. How do you tell your current boyfriend that a married man you have been cheating with on and off for years put his hands… everywhere… and you did nothing to stop him?

‘Did you kiss him back?’

She shook her head, her face had gone red with embarrassment and her throat felt dryer than the desert. 

‘Bell, you’re a wreck. Did something else happen? More than a kiss?’

She couldn’t bring herself to say the words. She felt dirty and used. ‘I understand… if you don’t want to see me anymore…’

‘Is it going to happen again?’

‘No.’ 

‘Will you be seeing him again?’

She thought about how she could possibly avoid him when they were under the same roof for 8 hours a day 5 days a week. ‘He works at the school…’

‘That’s sexual harassment, you should report it…’ His tone remained even, but Bell could detect an underlying anger in it. 

‘No.’ The word was firm and quick. There was no way she could do that, and even if she could she wasn’t sure whether anyone would ever believe her – Negan was so well-liked by everyone he crossed paths with. 

‘You can’t let him get away with it…’ Shane stood up and stroked his hand through his hair. ‘Is it a teacher?’

Bell stayed silent, she didn’t want to lie to him. 

‘Was it one of your teachers?’ Shane was now pacing the room. ‘Bell, what aren’t you telling me?’

‘I can’t say any more… I’m sorry it happened. I never meant to hurt you…’

‘I still don’t know what happened, you’re not making any sense. You say another man kissed you, but you didn’t kiss him back. Yet you’re acting guiltier than if it was just that… Were you seeing him when you were still a student?’

‘No.’ She was relieved that she could finally give him a straight answer on something, although it did nothing to comfort either of them. 

‘Bell.’ He knelt down in front of her and lifted her chin up. ‘I don’t want us to end…’

She wiped the wetness from under her eyes. ‘Neither do I…’

‘If it was just a kiss…’ He brought his lips close to hers and kissed her lightly. 

Bell let herself fall into his embrace, for a moment she forgot what she was so upset about. She slid down onto the floor with him and stroked her fingers through his hair. 

‘I don’t want to hurt you.’

‘Then don’t.’ He tucked her hair behind her ear and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye.


	17. Chapter 17

Bell pushed Shane onto the middle of the large bed. She smiled at the shocked look on his face and moved herself up to straddle his waist. 

‘You taking control, huh?’ Shane placed his hands on Bell’s hips.

‘Yep.’ She grabbed his hands and held them above his head. ‘Is that a problem?’

‘No, ma’am.’ He smiled. 

Bell slowly unbuttoned Shane’s shirt and enjoyed the sight of his toned chest. She circled her hips and bit her lip when she felt the growing bulge beneath her. 

‘Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?’

‘Just a few times.’ Bell bent at the waist and kissed his neck at first, relishing the little groans he made. She kissed over his chest and rested her hand on the front of his jeans. ‘I think you’re wearing too many clothes…’ She unbuckled his belt, undid the jeans and slipped them down his legs. 

‘I could say the same for you…’

Bell slid off the end of the bed. ‘You don’t like it?’

‘I prefer what’s underneath.’

She slipped her tight jeans down her thighs and kicked them off before she removed her tank top. ‘Better?’

‘You are such a tease…’

She wiggled the lace panties off of her hips and unhooked the matching bra before positioning herself back on top of him. She teased the head of his cock at her entrance and bit her lip as she worked her way down his shaft. Shane placed his hands back on her hips, steadying her as she slid up and down in small motions. This time she didn’t pull his hands away, as much as she might pretend, she didn’t enjoy being the one in charge. 

‘You feel so good.’ Bell placed a hand on his chest as she continued to slide up and down his member. 

Shane moved his hands down her hips and to the curve of her bottom, pulling her cheeks apart slightly. 

Bell couldn’t help but moan at the sensation as he spread her further apart. She closed her eyes as she felt herself start to contract around him. She slowed her pace so that she could delay her release. 

After she had brought herself back from the edge a few times Shane flipped her over onto her hands and knees. Bell whined at the emptiness inside as she waited for him to replace his cock deep inside of her. 

Shane ran the head of his dick up and down her slit and smiled at the noises she was making. He dipped two fingers into her wetness before thrusting his cock deep inside of her. He held onto her hip with one hand while he trailed a finger up to her ass crack. He paused before continuing, waiting for a moan of approval – it was almost instant. He hadn’t touched her there before, but he had picked up on some signals that she did want him to. He teased here there for a moment before slowly inserting one finger and then another. He was surprised when her moans became wilder, almost instantly. 

Bell gripped the sheets beneath her, she was unable to control herself as she enjoyed the penetration in her pussy and in her ass. Her moans were louder and louder and she felt her own wetness dripping down her leg as she rode out her orgasm. 

Shane couldn’t hold on after that, the sight of his beautiful girlfriend beneath him as she lost control in a way she had never lost control before. He held her hips steady as he emptied his load deep inside her. He held her there for a minute afterwards as her pussy continued to spasm around him, her moaning had stopped but she seemed to still be experiencing the end of her orgasm. 

Bell collapsed on the bed when Shane let go of her. She was completely spent. 

‘I hope that’s a sign of things to come…’ Shane lay next to her on the bed. 

Bell kissed him and traced her fingers over his bare chest. ‘Is that every room now?’

‘Just the kitchen left, I think,’ he laughed. 

They had been together for just over 18 months and were finally moving in together. Bell was happy to be out of her dad’s guest house and Shane had been thinking of moving out of his crappy apartment for a while – it just seemed to make sense to them. They were pleasantly surprised that they could afford the 4 bed and three bath house, but Bell had had a salary increase when she moved to her new job. It was as if everything had just come together for them. 

Bell rolled off of the bed and slipped her clothes back on. ‘Come on, we don’t have time to just lay around all day!’ She tugged at his arm, pulling him into a seated position. ‘We’ve got about a million boxes to unpack.’

Shane trailed his hands down to her ass and pulled her close to him. ‘It can wait…’ 

Bell closed her eyes, his hands travelled under her dress and over her ass cheeks before he put his hand in between her legs. She shivered as he traced his finger over her still-sensitive womanhood and then batted his hand away. ‘If it were up to you,’ she moved away from his grasp, ‘we’d never get this place unpacked.’

Shane grumbled and lay back on the bed. His view of the ceiling was suddenly interrupted by the t-shirt Bell flung at his head. 

Bell perched herself onto the kitchen counter as she waited for Shane to come downstairs. She checked her phone and checked her messages. She just had the one message from Amelia – she’d broken up with her boyfriend and needed some company. She slid off of the counter and padded back up to the bedroom. 

‘Change of plans,’ she stripped off the dress and discarded it on the floor before walking into the closet. 

‘You decided to come back to bed?’ Shane had pulled on his jeans and had his t-shirt ready to slip back on. 

‘Amanda’s having man trouble.’

‘Again?’

‘Again.’ Bell rummaged in the boxes of clothes in the closet, she wished she’d unpacked this room first. ‘I have to go and help her drown her sorrows.’ 

‘You want me to drop you off?’

‘That would be amazing.’ She popped her head around the door to blow him a kiss, her top half now covered by a black body suit. Bell pulled on a pair of tight, high-waisted jeans and picked up her leather jacket. Once she’d applied a coat of blood-red lipstick and slipped on a pair of black pumps she was ready to go. 

**

‘I just don’t understand.’ Amanda took another gulp of her drink. ‘I thought things were going so well.’

Bell had spent the past hour reassuring her friend that there was nothing wrong with her; that there were plenty more fish in the sea; and that it must’ve not been “meant to be”. Nothing she said could cheer her friend up, but she got the feeling that Amanda didn’t want to be cheered up. She wanted to talk about her feelings – and that was fine, too. 

‘I knew I was too good for him, but I fell for him anyway!’ She drained her glass and clumsily dropped it down onto the table. 

‘I’ll get us some more drinks,’ Bell stood as she downed the rest of her drink and sauntered off to the bar. She’d never been much use in these situations, but she tried anyway. 

She ordered two more vodka sodas as well as some tequila shots. She wasn’t sure whether the tequila was a good idea, but she knew it would make the night that much easier on her. When she returned Amanda looked a little more cheerful. 

‘Your spirits seem to have lifted…’ Bell cautiously put the drinks down on the table. 

‘I just received a lovely compliment on my outfit.’ She flung her arms out to accentuate the dress she was wearing, it enhanced her larger-than-average bust and Bell wondered whether the compliment was more aimed at that. 

‘Shall we drink to it?’ Bell lifted her glass. 

‘Yes!’ Amanda made a face once she’d drank the golden liquid and quickly chased it with a large gulp of her vodka soda. 

‘How’s the move going?’ 

Bell was taken aback at the interest in her own life, Amanda wasn’t usually so attentive. ‘We’ve moved all of our stuff, now we just have a lot of unpacking to do.’

‘I don’t envy you.’ Amanda’s voice trailed off and Bell could see her attention shift elsewhere. ‘That’s Tom Holder…’

‘Who?’ Bell looked around. 

‘From School…’ Amanda fixed her hair. ‘I had such a crush on him back then… I’m going to say hi.’

Before could protest her friend had sauntered over to see her old high school crush and she was left alone with her thoughts. She stayed sat there for about 15 minutes and thought about getting herself another drink before she heard a familiar voice at the other end of the room – Negan, laughing and joking with his friends. She froze; worried he would see her there alone. She hadn’t seen him in almost a year and a half, not since she’d left her job at the school. She’d heard that his wife had died shortly after that, but hadn’t been able to bring herself to offer her condolences. 

Bell looked over to Amanda, deep in conversation with Tom Holder. She picked up her jacket and purse, made a flimsy excuse to her friend, and left.


	18. Chapter 18

‘I could get used to this.’ Shane smiled at Bell as he leaned against the kitchen counter. 

‘I cook for you all the time.’ Bell closed the oven door and hung up the oven mitt. 

‘Not like this.’ He smiled as he took one of the uncooked green beans from the chopping board. 

‘Hands off,’ she playfully swatted him away. 

‘Have you met this new boyfriend of Amanda’s?’

‘She’s been pretty quiet about him, I think she’s nervous about introducing anyone after the last one.’

‘That’s not like her, you usually can’t shut her up.’

‘This will be the first time I’ve really seen her since she started seeing him, I think it got serious pretty fast.’

‘So you don’t know anything about him.’

‘No, not really…’ Bell continued to potter around the kitchen and she tasked Shane with laying the table, just about the only dinner related task she could trust him with. 

15 minutes later and Bell heard a knock at the door, she had her hands full with the hot dish from the oven. ‘Shane, you getting that?’  
‘On it.’

While she checked that the chicken was cooked through she kept an ear out for the introductions in the hallway. Amanda’s voice was unmistakable, but of course it would be to her – they had been friends for so long. She always felt like she got a good idea of someone’s character by the tone of their voice, so her ear was trying to tune into the mystery boyfriend. 

His tone was unmistakable, too. She dropped the dish onto the heat-proof matt, luckily not from too great a height, and clung onto the kitchen counter. She steadied herself for a moment and shook her head. She must have been hearing things, there was no way…

‘Hey!’ Amanda came into the kitchen and hugged her best friend. ‘You okay, hon?’

‘I’m fine.’ Bell shook herself back to reality. ‘It’s so good to see you, it feels like an age…’ Her words caught in her throat as she looked over her friends shoulder to see what she had hoped she hadn’t heard from the hallway. 

‘This is the man who’s been keeping me away…’ Amanda walked over and wrapped an arm around Negan. ‘You remember Negan from school, right?’

‘Of course.’ Bell used all of her strength to make her tone sound even. ‘We worked in the same building for a while, too, remember?’

‘Of course you did!’ 

‘I’m sorry, did you say from School?’ The look on Shane’s face was a picture. 

‘Football coach…’ Bell walked over to the fridge, she needed a very large glass of wine all of a sudden. ‘Can I get anyone a drink?’ She suddenly wondered whether there was enough alcohol in the house. 

‘Beer, please.’ Negan’s eyes hadn’t left her since he’d entered her kitchen. 

‘Do you even have to ask?’ Amanda laughed and looked up at her boyfriend with googly-eyes. 

Bell was relieved when Shane took the guests through to the living room. She wanted to leave, how could she possibly keep her composure through a full dinner? She swiftly glugged down the contents of her glass before pouring herself another. 

‘That’s pretty weird…’ Shane looked behind him before saying any more.

‘Tell me about it.’ Although Bell knew that they had completely different reasons for thinking the match an odd one. 

‘Was he your teacher?’

‘Not really… He was the coach. I guess it’s a little bit of a different dynamic.’ She tried to convince herself more than Shane. 

‘It’s a bit of an age gap…’

‘Well, we’re not the same age either.’ She turned to open the oven door. 

‘I know, but he’s old enough to be her father.’

‘Okay!’ She turned to face him and quickly stopped the word-vomit from tumbling out of her mouth. ‘Let’s not judge my best friend…’

‘You’re right, I’m sorry…’

‘Would you like to let our guests know that dinner’s ready?’

**

Bell was the last to sit down, she had wanted to keep herself as busy as possible – making sure everyone had drink and that all of the food was placed perfectly on the table. 

‘This looks amazing.’ Amanda smiled at her friend. 

‘It does.’ Negan’s stare gave a different meaning to the words. 

Bell let the other three do most of the heavy lifting, conversation-wise. She worried what she might say, or how she might say it, to give rise to suspicion. This had to be the oddest situation she’d ever been in, and she’d had dinner with Negan and his wife during the time of their affair (she hated that word, but it really was the only word she could use).

‘What do you do for a living, Shane?’ Negan was feeling right at home by now, Bell could tell. He’d eased into the situation and he looked like he was having the time of his life. 

‘I’m a police officer.’

‘There can’t be a lot to police around here, a small town like this?’

‘You’d be surprised...’

Bell cleared the plates as the conversation carried on in the dining room. She’d barely said two words all evening and was worried that someone would notice soon. 

‘You okay?’ Amanda leaned on the counter next to the dishwasher. 

‘Of course.’

‘Are you freaked out? I bet you’re freaked out…’

‘Why would I be?’ Of course, there were a million reasons why she would be. 

‘Well, you used to have a crush on him back in high school…’

‘I didn’t…’

‘You so did!’ Amanda tossed her hair back as she laughed. 

‘I didn’t, but even if I did… We’re not in high school anymore.’

‘He’s a good guy.’

Bell nodded her head and kept her lips tightly shut.

‘He’s been so lonely since his wife died.’

‘Are you the first… since her?’ She hoped she didn't sound too interested. 

‘I think there must have been someone else, he’s vaguely mentioned a girlfriend he had. She sounds like a real piece of work…’

‘Oh?’ Bell was sure that must be about her. 

‘I think she stalked him a bit, you know? She wanted it to be more than it was…’

‘I think it would be good to hear both sides…’ Bell stopped herself. ‘I’ve found that exes aren’t always as crazy as men make them out to be, that’s all.’ She wistfully thought about how some of Amanda’s exes might describe her, and then chastised herself for thinking bad things about her best friend. 

‘Hmm…’ Amanda grabbed Bell’s hand. ‘You can do that later, come and entertain your guests.’

Bell grabbed the bottle of wine and two beers off of the kitchen counter as Amanda whisked her back into the dining room. 

‘I thought you two might want another…’ Bell kissed Shane on the cheek as she put his beer down. She made her way over in between Negan and Amanda to pass Negan his beer and fill Amanda’s wine glass. As the liquid slowly poured out she felt Negan’s hand, she’d know it anywhere, rest on the back of her bare thigh and trail up the inside of her leg. She remained composed and carefully moved back around to her own seat. 

They chatted on for a while longer and Bell tried to avoid looking over at her ex-lover. She could feel her cheeks flush every time she caught a glimpse of him looking at her. 

‘Does anyone want dessert?’ Bell went to stand up. 

‘I’ll get it.’ Shane rested his hand on her arm. ‘You’ve been running around after us all night.’

She begrudgingly sat back down. 

‘I’ll give you hand.’ Amanda bounced up from her seat and followed Shane through to the kitchen. 

Bell tapped her fingers on her wine glass before taking another large gulp and pouring herself the rest of the bottle. 

‘You’ve barely said anything to me all night…’ Negan smiled over at her. 

‘What would you like me to say?’

‘Oh, I can think of a few things…’

Bell shook her head. ‘Why are you here?’

‘You invited me.’

‘I didn’t know I was inviting you.’ She checked to make sure the coast was still clear. ‘Why the hell are you dating my best friend?’

‘She’s been a welcome distraction for me… Since Lucille…’ He looked down and Bell instantly felt for him. 

‘I’m sorry, about Lucille…’

‘Does your boyfriend know? About our history?’

‘Not exactly…’

‘Not exactly?’

‘He doesn’t know it was you.’

‘Tsk, tsk, tsk… you shouldn’t keep secrets from your man. You’re a very naughty girl, Bluebell.’

‘Are you going to tell Amanda?’ Bell felt the blood drain from her face at the prospect of her best friend knowing about one of the lowest points in her life.

‘I might.’ He shrugged and took another sip of his beer. 

‘Please don’t.’

‘I always did like it when you begged…’ 

‘Here we go…’ Amanda swooped into the room, shortly followed by Shane. ‘Bell always makes the most amazing Blueberry cheesecake.’

‘I know.’ Negan smiled. 

Bell’s heart jumped into her throat as she felt Shane’s quizzical look fall onto her. How the fuck was she supposed to explain that?

‘I think you brought a piece over for Lucy once…’

‘I babysat for Negan’s daughter when I was in high school.’ Bell was thankful that he’d helped her out of this one. ‘How’s Lucy doing..?’ Amanda laughed and the realisation that she had been matching her drink-for-drink suddenly dawned on Bell. 

‘You had such a huge crush on him!’ 

Negan raised an eyebrow and Shane’s face was just a picture of surprise. 

‘I didn’t…’ She stuck her fork into the dessert. ‘That’s just a running joke you and the girls had…’ Bell kicked her friend under the table.

‘Ow…’ Amanda looked up from her plate. ‘Yeah, we just used to tease her…’

Bell prayed that the night wouldn’t last too much longer. If the universe wanted her to pay for cheating with a married man, it sure knew how to start.


	19. Chapter 19

Bell pulled into the parking lot and checked the time, she’d have a few minutes to wait until the game finished and Trinity was ready to go. It had taken the 45 minute drive to stop cursing her step-mother for asking her to pick her sister up at such short notice – apparently the housewife was too busy to do it herself. 

She turned the engine off and tapped at the steering wheel before deciding to get out of the car – deciding that a walk would do her good. She did a few laps of the car park and carried on walking as the cars started to empty out. She knew Trinity wouldn’t be the first one out, but checked her phone every few seconds anyway. 

‘I was not expecting to see you here.’

Bell audibly sighed and turned on her heel. The thought that Negan would be there hadn’t even crossed her mind. ‘Just waiting for my sister.’ She tried to keep her composure and to remember that he was now her best friend’s boyfriend. 

‘You might be waiting a while longer.’

‘I don’t mind.’ Bell tapped her foot, filling the awkward silence as she waited for him to take the hint and leave – he didn’t. ‘Good game?’

‘We won.’ He smiled, she knew he was enjoying how awkward he was making her feel. ‘How’re things with Shane?’

‘Good.’ Bell checked her phone again – nothing.

‘He work a lot of nights?’

Bell didn’t answer, she just nodded and carried on willing Trinity to hurry up so she could get out of there. 

‘Must get lonely…’ He stroked his hand over her upper arm. ‘You know you can always call, right? If you need me for anything…’

‘I’ll be sure to remember that.’ She stepped away from him. ‘Why are you with Amanda?’ Bell hadn’t expected the words to come out of her mouth so quickly. 

‘She’s a good person…’

‘Did you… are you seeing her because she’s my friend?’

‘You sure think a lot of yourself, sweetheart. You do remember that I only ever wanted one thing from you, right?’

‘You did know that she’s my best friend?’

‘Bell, we didn’t do a whole lotta talking in the time we spent together and I certainly didn’t keep track of who you were and weren’t friends with.’

‘You must’ve known.’ Bell could feel her face getting hotter, she had wanted to confront him when they came over for dinner, but she knew she wouldn’t have been able to keep her voice down. She couldn’t bear for Amanda or Shane to know about what she had done, but she also couldn’t stand the thought of having to spend time with the two of them as a couple and pretend like everything was okay, because no one else knew of any reason why it wouldn’t be. 

‘I hadn’t seen you in over a year.’ His voice was no longer playful in anyway, the tone was low and cold. ‘In case you hadn’t noticed, Lucy and I have been through some shit this past year. Forgive me for not thinking about you when I started to date again.’

Bell’s voice caught in her throat. She regretted bringing it up, she felt selfish and stupid. He was right – he hadn’t seen her since she’d left the school. He’d made no attempt to contact her since then and he had shown no interest. She chastised herself for being so vapid as to think that he would choose to be in a relationship with someone just to get close to her. 

‘I like Mandy, a lot.’ 

Bell couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. She had been trying to tell herself that she wasn’t jealous and that she didn’t care that he was openly seeing her best friend when he only ever snuck around with her. She didn’t want to admit to herself how inferior she felt. 

‘I’m sorry it’s weird for you.’ Negan tried to sound sincere, and he almost succeeded. 

‘I’m sorry… for accusing you.’ Bell looked at her phone again, she wanted this conversation to be over – still nothing. ‘Where the hell is she?’

Just as Bell had voiced her frustration she heard Trinity’s familiar voice getting closer to the parking lot. She spied her as she came around the corner – the 17-year-old stopped as she chatted and laughed with her friends. 

‘Trin!’ Bell waved over at her sister. Trinity turned around and mouthed that she’d just be a minute. 

‘I forget you two are related.’ Negan laughed. 

Bell watched as her sister giggled and gossiped with her friends – they couldn’t be more different. Bell herself wasn’t exactly short, but Trintiy was at least 5’ 10”, a good few inches taller than Bell. Trinity had long blonde hair and a smile that would light up any room. 

‘Yeah, she’s got her mother’s looks.’ Bell made a point of looking him in the eye as she said that before walking over to her sister. ‘Trinny, it’s time to go.’

‘Ugh, can’t I just have five more minutes?’ Trinity put her hand on her hip and pouted. 

‘Waiting in a school parking lot isn’t exactly my idea of a fun Friday night…’

‘Fine.’ She bent down to pick up her bag. ‘I’ll call you later?’ Trinity hugged her friends and reluctantly followed Bell to the car. ‘You were just fine speaking to Coach Negan, would it have killed you to give me a few more minutes?’

‘Waiting in a school parking lot, speaking to an old man isn’t my idea of a fun Friday night.’ Bell started the car and reminded her sister to put her seatbelt on. 

‘He’s not old,’ Trinity looked out of the passenger window and waved at Negan. ‘He’s hot, a real daddy.’ She giggled. 

‘Trinity!’ Bell nearly choked on the air she was breathing; she had not expected something like that to come out of her sister’s mouth. 

‘What? He is! I bet he’s amazing… at kissing.’ Trinity smiled down at her phone. 

‘He’s way too old for you…’ Bell wanted to warn her sister, but she wasn’t sure how to do that without giving rise to suspicion. ‘I hope you know that?’

‘Duh, and he’s a teacher.’ Trinity looked over to her sister, she enjoyed shocking her. ‘Isn’t he dating your friend?’ 

‘He is; how do you know that?’

‘We saw them on a date the other night.’ Trinity barely looked up from her phone, she was firing off text messages as she held a conversation with her sister. Bell was impressed with her multitasking abilities. ‘Mom and dad want you to come over for dinner on Sunday.’

Bell stopped herself from correcting her to “step-mom” and instead just asked why. 

‘They haven’t seen you since you moved in with Shane.’

‘And?’

‘They miss you…’ Trinity looked at her sister and shook her head. 

That was a foreign concept to Bell, she couldn’t fathom that they might miss her.

‘We’ve got plans.’

‘What plans?’ Trinity put her phone down. 

Bell tried to think fast, but nothing came to her. 

‘I thought so.’ She laughed. ‘We’ll see you at 7. Mom wants you to bring Shane.’

She wanted to ask why they couldn’t just ask her themselves, but there was no point in getting into it with Trinity. 

The rest of the journey was spent in silence as Trinity’s attention was firmly on her phone. Bell pulled up outside her dad’s house and had to nudge her sister back to reality. 

‘Are you coming in to say hi?’

‘I’ll see them on Sunday.’ Bell made no sign of moving, but waited until her sister was safely inside before heading home.


End file.
